“Healing Traumatic Memories, Part 2” Comments, Page 1

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2 Comments on “Healing Traumatic Memories, Part 2”

  1. When I was a child I made myself up using what good things from my life and environment I could. Abuses happened to a separate person frozen in fear. Things got very confusing by my late teens and I started taking notes so I could put it all together when I was ready to read them.
    I had a lot of interesting synchronicities that proved to me God loves me and I started writing a book about them. Bad things happened to me but so did good and amazing things.
    As an adult I have real things I am afraid of but I met this child and we talked. I woke up with a horrible depressed feeling that was out of place because everything was going good. It wasn’t sugar blues cause I was eating no sugar or winter blues cause it was spring. I observed it every day for 3 to 6 months until I almost got in a car accident and had an adrenaline rush. I saw the adrenalin rush was the same thing as the depressed feeling — fear. As soon as I saw that the feeling went away. That made me suspicious. I didn’t know what I was afraid of and it acted like an entity trying to hide.
    I continued to observe another few months. My wife got mad and threatened to leave and the fear manifested like The Tingler (if you are familiar with the 1950s movie). A terrified child waited many years until everything was going good. He felt safe to come out. Once we saw each other there was a great feeling like when you are learning something you like in a class and dream about it. He was afraid of abandonment. He’d come out years earlier but I didn’t know what was happening. I was watching myself sing the Mickey Mouse song in a high voice of a child.
    Anyways we remind each other of stuff all the time and work together even though life can be a little overwhelming for him at times but there is no more fear.
    I used to read Castaneda and remembered the 4 enemies on the path to knowledge — Fear we overcome by facing it and continuing on in spite of it. Then we have clarity when we overcome it and the next enemy is clarity.
    I’ve been observing this good buoyant feeling the way prescribed in Castaneda’s book — as almost a mistake. It’s not the end goal. I’ve gained more power and watch my personality that I don’t use it cruelly to boost ego pride.
    But my point is if I didn’t get enough of something I go through a period of be living it — like I wasn’t breast fed and had some hangup over it so I stared at women and pretended I was a little baby nursing and ate healthy food instead of dwelling on what I can’t change but that’s only a temporary fix.
    Facing the trauma without fear or resentment heals. I overcame fear in little spurts here and there but all at once I overcame it once and for all when I saw my personality before I was traumatized and saw the contrast. I believe recapitulation is important and discovered amazing recapitulation even beyond my own self.

  2. What happens if you have no memory of the traumatic event and the feeling or memory is implicit? Since my rape 12 years ago I have been unable to hold down a job as I get triggered very heavily into fleeing. (I was drugged with Rohypnol and attacked by a work colleague at a team building weekend.) Now I have tried to soothe myself into staying put, I have tried visualisations, I have tried willpower, I have tried exposure therapy more times than I can count but when the panicked feeling hits (usually within 3 days of being in the job) I just walk out and don’t look back. I get an overwhelming sense that if I don’t leave I will be annihilated! (Yes that is a strong word, but that’s how it feels.) Shortly after there is a relief of being safe. Now consciously NONE of this makes sense to me and I feel awful that this is beyond my control, but I am curious to know how I can access whatever is causing this to allow me to move forward and get unstuck in my life. All areas in my life are suffering. I have no relationships, my money is running out. There is no area in my life that PTSD has not affected. I have seen tremendous improvements by using the principles of Neuroplasticity, however how do you change an implicit memory or feeling when there seems to be no accessing it?

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