“How to Find a Therapist Who Can Help With Character Disturbance” Comments, Page 1

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6 Comments (2 Discussion Threads) on “How to Find a Therapist Who Can Help With Character Disturbance”

  1. I am thoroughly enjoying ALL of your articles on Disturbed Characters. I wanted to know when your 3rd post entitled “The Red Flags” of seeking the right kind of therapist? Thanks in advance.

  2. I appreciate this resource being available online and have enjoyed the articles I have read so far.
    My question is in regards to other resources (i.e. books, websites etc.) that can assist those who possess disturbances in character or personality disorders and who genuinely want to change their modes of thinking and styles of behavior. I have just recently come to a place in my life that assisted me in realizing that I have major issues with exactly what I just described. I have lost everything (loving wife, custody of my amazing children, house, car, friends, job) as a result of my wreck less behavior. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and after years of either denial or later avoidance, I have recently sought treatment and therapy for that condition.
    However, I have just discovered through my own research, that my issues go far beyond that (BPD, NPD.)
    I honestly want to change and be able to build a life again. I want to feel joy and love and I want to be supportive and nurturing to my kids, family and friends. I realize that I have been deceiving myself my whole life and justifying actions that are far from ok. I find that recently, given these revelations, I am constantly second guessing my motives for my speech and actions and most of the time end up feeling like I’m doomed. I’m also not sure that my current therapist is truly equipped to guide me on this journey. I am doing everything in my power to be self aware and am hungry for any resources that may help me understand how to begin to change my thoughts and in turn my life. Most all resources that I can find are totally geared towards the “victims” of those with these disturbances and I totally understand that. I desparately want to find some that have healthy advice for people like me. I know that I have had issues with a lack of guilt and empathy but I feel like I am not totally devoid of these qualities. I also have issues with trust and love and affection, accepting and giving.
    I’m sorry for the long winded comment but I hope you can offer some advice or resources. Thank you sincerely for the work you do.


    1. Thanks so much for sharing this Nicholas and asking such a great question. Sites and resources have definitely been in short supply to help folks such as yourself build a better life. But fortunately that’s beginning to change. For starters you might check out the material in my book Character Disturbance that addresses this very issue and also my blog at http://www.manipulative-people.com which has several articles germane to the topic and also has information on how to contact me if you have additional questions.

    2. Simplest checks for acceptable behavior should be “treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself”, “do not harm others”.
      Cannot get any simple than that.
      Start looking inside, instead of looking outside for any help. Looking for complex explanations or exercises may just turn out to be ways of fooling oneself.
      Good luck!

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