“Empowerment Tools: Keep the Weight of Responsibility for Change Where it Belongs” Comments, Page 1

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8 Comments (2 Discussion Threads) on “Empowerment Tools: Keep the Weight of Responsibility for Change Where it Belongs”

  1. This is quite common for me. I am realizing the problem with poor boundaries I have. I not only want to change other people behaviors at home, but as well at work and not paying attention to my own flaws. I would appreciate if you include more articles in maintaining boundaries.
    Thanks,
    :)

  2. Interestingly, one of the things I keep an eye on is the use of the conditional tense in people’s speech… The “If you had/hadn’t…. then, I would have….” Those little “If”s and “would”s or “Wouldn’t”s reveal much more than just an expression of complaint.

    Like you pointed out here very well, they can conceal a manipulative action such as placing the responsibility on the other person, or they may also point out a person who lives out of reality. “If” denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different.

    Great post, Dr. Simon :)

  3. Hi Mariana,
    What fo you mean by, “If” denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different. I dont get it. May be b/c my first language is not english or b/c today I am particularly sensitive.
    M

  4. Or may be that the only thing I wish for me and my children is to be treated with dignity and respect. No matter in which grammatical tense that would be.No matter if I continue married, divorce, widow or single.

  5. how do you put the responsibility back to where it belongs when you are going thru legal process and neither the lawyers or the laws of teh court do not make the disturbed character accountable? It is very disempowering for people like myself going thru divorce and getting intimidated and court is also manipulated. How can i apply this knowledge?

    1. This empowerment tools is meant for use in a situation in which you are in a one-on-one engagement with the irresponsible character and they are trying to pass the buck of responsibility to you. The situation you describe is different. The tools that would best serve you are those I outline that help you focus your energy where you have power – namely your ability to take assertive action.

  6. I just wanted to say “thank you” for all the useful pieces of advice I found in the empowerment tools section. I think I finally know what to do when confronting my partner. I really feel empowered although I know it’ll not be plain sailing with him.

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