“Undaunted and Defiant Thinking” Comments, Page 1

Just click to return to the article “Undaunted and Defiant Thinking”.

10 Comments (3 Discussion Threads) on “Undaunted and Defiant Thinking”

  1. Hi George,

    Their habitually defiant thinking breeds deep-seated attitudes of rebelliousness, disdain for authority, and antagonism toward social obligation. Such thinking makes it almost impossible to develop a sense of duty in the civic, marital, relationship, and other arenas.

    This is a informitive article and often explains why these character disordered people don’t show up for help around the globe. Often it’s court ordered which is much different that recognizing their need for help and wanting it for them selves and theor families.

  2. This site has saved my life! My boyfriend of 22 years – we have 6 children won’t work, won’t help with kids in morning-when I’m at work (has taken them to school late – at two different schools kids have had 22 tardies & referrals for truancy), has endless trouble with tickets, (pages of them!) utility companies, let’s dog poop in neighbors yard, has been fired 3x’s in 4 years (of course he says not his fault, so he never learns any lessons). We’ve had endless irrationale, delusional arguments about these things – not to mention he’s a flirt & loves to humiliate me in front of other women, blames me and tries to convince me and others that I’m crazy etc…Anyways, I’m putting my life back together as fast as I can so I can end this HELL I’ve been living in for far too many years. I’m saving my life & my childrens and able to keep my blood pressure under control by understanding that with this guy that even though to others he tries to be ultra boyish smooth & charming to others but is a very, very, very sick & disturbed person. Everyday is a struggle but, Thank you for helping me to just begin to see the light!

    1. Hi Anadi,

      I think one of the most important things this article mentions is the fact that disturbed characters will invariably put the blame on others.

      “They” are “never wrong,” it’s the other person who is “wrong” or it’s the other person’s “fault.”

      Failing to accept they could possibly be wrong themselves makes it highly unlikely that they will correct their behavior or even mind to understand other people’s point of view. They have their own viewpoint and they actually believe they are “always right.”

      Take care of yourself and your children. All the best.

  3. I am beginning to teach a cognitive thinking class in a prison. I need all the information and help I can get. My students exhibit all the problem areas discussed here.

  4. You say “but they will not subordinate their wills to any “higher power.” Subordinating your will implies being possessed (vindictive triumph). Conforming to a “higher power” would be a more appropriate statement. A former psychopathic boss spent months trying to mentally crush me with verbal abuse in order to “possess” me, ie trying to get me to ditch my mind and allow him to control my mental processes. And why did he try this unless he had successes in the past. Writings should be clear and unambiguous in this regard.

    1. Hi, Ken. I’m not sure how you derived your meaning for subordinating will. The roots of the words are mostly from the Latin (ordinalis – “order” as in rank) German, Old English and even Dutch (willen, wollen – “desire”) and the generally accepted meaning is to give one’s own wants secondary importance to that of the greater good or a higher authority. While I agree with you that no one should be the object of “possession” by a psychopath, the words were carefully and accurately chosen.

      The word conform comes from Old French and Latin as well and literally means to make one thing like another. The generally accepted meanings can include acquiescence as well as blind submission and following the crowd. I didn’t use that word on purpose.

      I do my best to make my writings clear, unambiguous, and accurate. Sometimes I fail. I know I’m not a perfect writer. And it’s always impossible to know in advance what someone else’s understanding of words might be. But this time I chose my words very deliberately, and according to reputable sources, quite accurately. : )

  5. ((Sigh)) The “Art” of Writing :)

    And you can also add the cultural issues, as well. In Spanish, we have to choose our words quite carefully, lest we offend someone because that word means something completely different in their country. Regarding English, I remember a woman from Philadelphia called another one a “broad,” and while I thought that was offensive, they both explained to me it was slang for woman, but not offensive in “Philly”… Same with terms like “redneck”, I believe, depends on the context or intention. How incredibly rich our languages are! And how much confusion they can cause, too!

    1. Yes, sometimes the “art” is more like “torture.” It’s bad enough that in this global age different cultures might interpret a piece in a much different manner than the writer intended. To add insult to injury, there’s the dreaded possibility that the writer her/himself will look back on something labored over for weeks and muse “What in the *(&^&!! was I thinking?!”

  6. This particular thinking error, “Undaunted and Defiant Thinking” really nails what I have been seeing as spoiled, lazy and entitled behavior in my covert aggressive ex-husband. I’ve read both Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing and Character Disturbance and learned so much. But coming across these thinking errors is really the glue that makes me understand more thoroughly what I was dealing with. Thank you, I truly wish other ‘clinicians’ were as clear as you are. I put clinicians in quotes because oftentimes they do what I had done for 23 yrs of marriage – try to coddle the poor, mistreated and traumatized little boy inside the man!! The only thing I had right about that was his maturity level, that of an overindulged little boy who needed some really tough love a lot sooner.

  7. I think my husband is disturbed. He seems to defiantly do the opposite of what is expected. In fact it seems to be something akin to cutting off one’s nose to spite their face. If he’s asked to take action on something that needs immediate attention he will literally postpone it for one year. If you point out the consequences of his actions he’ll stonewall even more, disregard you, and deny anything you request. Case in point – we have the money to fix things around the house but he won’t agree to take action. In addition, he’s capable of fixing a large portion of this himself as he’s in the trade. He simply seems to enjoy digging his heels in and saying no to everything. Our kids are embarrassed by the condition of our home and so am I.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
 characters available

In accordance with our Privacy Policy, your email address will not be published with your comment or shared in any other way. Please do not SPAM. Comments which solicit personal advice, are rude or inflammatory, are not about this specific post, or are otherwise not in keeping with our Terms of Use may be deleted at our discretion. If you would like to make a comment or ask a question about something other than the subject matter of this post, please do get in touch directly.

Overseen by an international advisory board of distinguished academic faculty and mental health professionals with decades of clinical and research experience in the US, UK and Europe, CounsellingResource.com provides peer-reviewed mental health information you can trust. Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation.

Copyright © 2002-2021. All Rights Reserved.