“Understanding the Sadistic Personality” Comments, Page 3

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48 Comments (14 Discussion Threads) on “Understanding the Sadistic Personality”

  1. Zoe and Maggie hit the nail on the head. I am a young girl currently in a relationship with a man that I now know is a sadist. Though I notice that a lot of these disorders and related to antisocial behaviour but my boyfriend is very extroverted and was also previously involved in crime, though I imagine he got out of it for fear of incarceration. He exercises these sadistic qualities quite frequently but become servere when drug or alchohol related abuse comes in, to the point where he will mentally and physically beat me for hours and say death threats . He is extremely worried about his image and wants to be liked and admired by everyone even if I embarrass him in the most small and minor way he sees as some sort of attack and will unleash his rage on me. Anytime he isn’t doing good in his life he puts others down for his own pleasure and anytime he feels not in control of a situation or when he is wrong or feels inferior he lashed out and acts violent towards me to get his fill of power and do whatever he can to feel some control. It bothers me because he puts on this mask or creates these lies and facade for people to see and is extroverted that everyone that meets him actually loves him but nobody knows what he is really like but me. He manipulates me constantly but it never works as I am an analytical type and spend a lot of time in my head but I just pretend it does. The better of a person I become and strive to be just makes me realize how sick of an individual he actually is. I am currently looking into extracting myself from this environment but planning my moves carefully as I am very scared of how he will act when he finds out I’m leaving him. Dr Simon what are your thoughts on an individual with this disorder that has problems with substance abuse, crime and is extroverted?

    1. I’ve written before about how breaking free of a dominance-seeking person’s control is the riskiest time. Best to have a sound safety plan in place and a support system. Folks determined to dominate and have the last say rarely accept “no” or especially “no more” for an answer.

  2. What exactly is a ‘narcissist insult’ ? Did I deliver one when the guy I’d been dating delivered a sadistic blow to which I replied ,” It’s absolutely ok not to see each other again . On your bike , and Godspeed ! ” I felt he wanted / needed me to bleed out ! He asked for a final hug – all too dramatic I told him . He had planned his announcement in detail .

  3. There is a man I know, who seems to fit the criteria for this serious disorder.

    Now in his sixties, he has managed to elevate himself to a position of influence with his bluster and bluff, despite his rather mediocre educational background and absence of familial or spousal support.

    He is manipulative, cunning and relishes inflicting pain on people who disagree with his agenda or sadistic behaviour with those at his mercy.

    Although he has close contact with health professionals, being in the “social service” fund-raising business of a developing country’s semi-rural township he seems to be progressively becoming worse.

    No one in his circle of association dares confront him for fear of reprisal and rejection as he tirelessly promotes a benevolent stance that is largely a facade. Others who have had nasty clashes with him avoid his contact like the plague.

    Everyone seems to know his problem but keep humouring him out of a perceived necessity. What is an appropriate strategy to bring him and the others out of this misery?

  4. Um, does having thoughts of torturing people or killing them count as a sadistic personality? He actually gets pleasure from those things and that the only reason why it is limited as thoughts is because he tries his hardest to control such, um, emotions(?). He tells me all this because I am his best friend, and I am kind of worried of what he has told me so far.

  5. Can a sadist truly change if he gets help? Or will it just push him to hide his true self from the person that is concerned and do things behind the persons back?

  6. I have been having an on-line relationship with an admitted sadist. I finally believe him, because he can give so little of himself or will not. If I am sick and I tell him, he says awww. He will remind me, I AM a sadist. I think I finally get it. So, I am weaning myself off of the contacts. I dont msg him, except for silly stuff, like showing him shirts, he might like. His slights have been omissions and not in your face mean! But, I know it is time after 8 mths to let go. He is into S&M or whatever it is. I don’t know, I let myself fall fof the sweet, attentive, funny parts.

  7. I have endure over fourty years as a family member is an everyday sadist. I alway knew she was bipolar. But I never knew she was so disturbed. As a child I cried. But as an adult I am seeking a support group. She always commited the crime but I did the time as hatred abound but I never knew she was the cause. No one every admit until I was fifty- four years old it was her that made everyone have a dislike. I had no friends until recently for over twenty-two years. The sadist does it and then stands and tell me I did it. Maybe now I can get help myself.

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