“Bereavement — What Can I Say?” Comments, Page 1

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12 Comments on “Bereavement — What Can I Say?”

  1. Welcome back. I was sorry to hear of your loss on this site (though it wasn’t said specifically what it was).

    Both my parents are still alive and in good health for their age (83) so I know I won’t understand what you are going through.

    This is just to say that my thoughts are with you.

  2. I am very sorry that you lost your mother, but SHE is the one that has gone. Be thankful that God graced you with her life and remember all of the times you shared. I don’t know if you are a Christian or not, but I am, and it’s sooooo very comforting to know that when another Christian passes from this life, they have moved on to an unimaginably wondrous life in eternity. And to meet Jesus face to face! Just think of it.

    God had a plan for your mother just as He does for each of His children. And each plan is different for each of His children, except death. Death is not the end. It’s the beginning of ETERNAL life WITH Jesus. A life without sin, without hate, without crime, in a place so beautiful that we cannot even imagine it.

    I truly believe that if you read the book “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn, you will have a totally different reaction to the next loss you will experience sooner or later. I wish everyone would read this book so that they can find peace instead of grief.

    I’m praying for you!


  3. Thanks Karen. My mother was a preacher and so she was very happy to be going to meet her Lord, and left me some beautiful texts about how she saw her forthcoming death.

    I am not a Christian. I don’t think however that non Christians only grieve while Christians only feel peace. I think both states are available to every human being.

  4. Sarah
    It is hard for me to understand ones fear of death. I understand your loss and the emptiness you must not having your mother’s presents with you. I do not fear death because during my MVA in 1974 I know what waits for me. I have felt the presence of the spiritual beings and the unconditional love they bring that can feel as if it encases and runs through me when I know they are near. When a person crosses over sometimes I feel their spirit leave their body and it feels like the door to heaven opens. The pure unconditional love pouring into the area to talk them home only makes me want to go with them at times, but until my turn comes I remain. Because I went through the transition of knowing what is waiting for me at 12 years old and I remember little before this age I never learned to fear what you call death. To me even the word death is an illusion; it is really a transition as a caterpillar is to turning into a butterfly. The body is a skin that is shed and we learn to fly as a butterfly into a place of pure unconditional love (This is my take). Your Mother is still nearby you and sending you love I am sure.
    Blessings Sheila

  5. Hi Sheila, and thanks!

    Funny you mention the catarpillar analogy – for my grandmother’s funeral we had something similar on the back of the order of service – the catarpillar calls it the end of the world and we call it a butterfly!

    I can understand both fear of death and the spiritual view you present here, I think both are deeply real and human…

    I am not sure she is nearby but she is certainly within me. I am not sure the butterfly remembers much about catarpillar life!

  6. Sarah
    I suppose I may word some wrong, my words not flow well sometimes. Fear of death from people to me is meaning they do not fully understand where they are going. Working with Hospice clients I found those that have a strong faith go easy with not fight to stay. An agnostic or someone with no faith of any kind fight hard to stay in the body.
    When I am with someone who misses someone that crosses over I find that the person or image of that person is near them and usually trying to tell them they still love them and they are ok and happy where they are. Sometimes they may have a message they want to say to the person they are hanging around, but usually it is just they are trying to send them love because of the grieving they know you go through. I do not claim to be a medium I am just sensitive in many ways and sometimes this happens. Mostly I have to be near the person talking with them then I get the images and feel what they want to say to the person I’m near. So as for the Butterfly not remembering it’s life, maybe not the butterfly, but the human when in spirit does remember.

  7. Hi Sarah

    I am a second-year person-centred diploma student with an obvious interest in therapy. Your post caught my eye, as you seemed able to put so succintly and eloquently into words, how I felt when my mother passed away almost two years ago.

    In my experience, it was the unacknowledged that became the most difficult aspect of my grief; and in my brief career to date, feel my bereaved clients would say the same.

    I am sorry to hear of your loss and send you and your family much love.

    Kind Regards,


  8. Sarah,

    Sorry for your loss and sadness is a sweet thing for love insits we grieve our loved one. My dad passed away 4 years ago. Its such a hard thing as it was just his birthday this past month. Our lives change dramatically when death occurs in it. It does give us a sense of how precios life really is and to spend each moment as best as we can embracing our loved ones. Embrace your grief, we all do it differently.

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