The lesson that it is facilitative not to press others to disclose, and to communicate that lack of pressure explicitly, is a useful one in all kinds of relationships; mothers persistently asking their children to tell them what happened at school springs to mind, as does the situation in which the stereotypical wife ‘asks the husband to talk about his feelings’.

Why is it that if a fascinating or difficult client comes along and the counsellor spends an entire supervision session, or most of it, working out how to proceed, this client invariably never comes back? Is this the widely known and surely scientifically proven by now ‘Sod’s Law’? Or is it just me?

While reading the wonderful change therapy blog today, I stumbled upon the UN definition of wellness: “Wellness is not only the absence of illness but also the sense of total physical and mental well-being.” This makes me wonder…is this definition adequate, or relevant, and is a sense of wellness the end goal of therapy?

I’m filing this under mindful awareness, which seems like an exalted term for going to bed when you’re tired. But it sometimes seems like such hard work to keep aware on a simple and basic level. The thoughts suck me in and go at a million miles an hour. It’s thrilling, terrifying, creates adrenaline — which is what I think I need in order to get things done.

The ideal of perfection, and everything being under the control of the individual, is certainly in harmony with contemporary western culture. This ideal of control over messy emotions, ageing, our own success, has unfortunately become linked to being thin. This gives form to the voice of anorexia, a seemingly safe way to a painless and perfect existence. Just get thin. Just don’t eat. Just don’t feel.

Empathy is not the act of getting lost in the state of the other. Otherwise, when a client is drowning, we would be pulled in and drown ourselves, which would be of little help to anyone. Rogers produced a sensible working definition of empathy when he wrote about sensing the client’s private world as if it were your own. Is this essential to therapy?

Looking around for some form of helping relationship can be quite overwhelming. There are so many treatments, methods, drugs, so many experts claiming to have the one true way. Has anyone formulated what it is which actually helps a person in need?