‘Self-esteem’ at Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, Page 2

Our sense of rejection tells us that we care about the other person and that we care about some part of ourselves or our activities. The other element I think that contributes to how intensely we feel rejection is how it is done.

Playing to the desire of another to be valued and liked can be a powerful manipulation tool.

Neurotics are too quick to feel ashamed when they’ve fallen short and too guilty when they think they’ve done wrong. In contrast, disordered characters are disturbingly lacking in their capacity to experience even healthy levels of shame or guilt.

When you’re talking about a neurotic individual, it’s reasonable to think of their personality as a sort of “mask” or facade that hides their true self. But when it comes to the disordered character, what you see is what you get.

Disturbed characters generally have too much self-esteem. They know what they have going for them and they equate their endowments with their identity. This is one of the main reasons their self-image can become inflated. On the other hand, disturbed characters often are frequently and chronically lacking in self-respect.