‘Responsibility’ at Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, Page 7

Neurotics want things to be good and wonderful, take it hard when things go wrong, and blame themselves for failures. Disordered characters take adversity in stride and blame everyone and everything else when their actions invite disastrous consequences.

Facing your mortality can indeed be a shock, and one which might provoke deeper reflection than “better go out clubbing while I still can”.

It seems that conscious choice and the exercising of responsibility are good for us — physically, psychologically, and even, according to new research, morally. Apparently, those who have a strong belief in their own power and influence over events are less likely to cheat, lie and steal.

Is it true that counsellors “cannot give” advice or information? I have found that my position has changed over the years, that I have needed to investigate my primary bias as a counsellor, that other people “should be” in the flow of experiencing and I am there purely to facilitate their own growth.

Finding, cultivating, even celebrating an ability to accept ourselves in all our messy imperfection is a major element of counselling. The idea of the perfect counsellor is one which we need to dispel, rather than apologising for not living up to it.