There are times in all our lives where we find ourselves saying ‘yes’ to others when really, we’d love to say no and put ourselves at the top of the priority list for a change; times when we feel we’re doing all the giving in relationships and our friends or loved ones are doing the taking. So what might be getting in the way of finding a better balance in relationships?

In the heat of an argument, overwhelming emotions can rob us of our common sense. The fallout from these momentary explosions can last for years. Learning how to handle emotional storms can keep a bad moment from doing long-term damage to a relationship.

Sometimes it’s by reaching out to others in their time of need that we find a profound sense of meaning and fulfilment for ourselves. But doing so entails taking a risk — the risk of allowing ourselves to be ‘touched’ by another’s story and in doing so, becoming vulnerable to the emotional rollercoaster that may follow.

One of the most insidious ways to lie is to report a series facts that are technically accurate but nonetheless don’t tell the “whole story” — a practice which modern politics has elevated to an art form. But the real tragedy lies in how numb and indifferent we have become with regard to this kind of behavior.

It can be difficult, even impossible sometimes, to find meaning in the actions or behaviour of other people. Looking for reasons can be a frustratingly futile exercise, but perhaps it’s a way of keeping curiosity alive whilst wondering about the lives of others.

Most of the reasons for therapy’s success are simply unknown. This should keep therapists humble. The biggest factor which therapists can influence at all is the quality of the relationship. The relationship may be experienced as healing, even when therapy doesn’t measure up as “effective” at removing problems.

Do you know anyone who is staying married to do the right thing? To keep the family together? Or, to keep the kids happy? I’m going to unveil one of the secrets to making marriages last and work.