“Everyone is in denial about something; just try denying it and watch friends make a list.” An article in the New York Times looks at research on denial and comes to the conclusion that far from being a destructive force it is a necessary part of life, which both protects us and actually helps us to form and nourish relationships.

While studies tend to confirm that no sudden stroke of good or bad fortune can shift your basic level of happiness much, from the results of this study it does seem that taking a few minutes a day to note specific things we are grateful for, as opposed to hassles and random things, can up baseline happiness by a full 25%.

Rather die than go to the dentist? Contemplating our own death is a lot more pleasant than contemplating dental pain, according to research which shows that reminders of death seem to provoke a kind of tuning into positive emotional information, a way of coping which is immediate, unconscious and clearly counterintuitive.

Compassion is not something artificial, like telling yourself you are good at something when you’re not, or that you are a ‘good person’ when you don’t feel as if this is true. Compassion naturally flows once the blocks of shame and self criticism are removed.