This is often one of the first questions in the mind of a prospective client when they meet a therapist for the first time. The therapist often gives an answer along the lines that each “case” is individual, but how often does this answer sound like a platitude?

Are young people taking up, or making up, new forms of spirituality uniquely concerned with self-fulfilment? Does this lead to individualism at the expense of society and their own mental health? Or is this a scare story which gets cause and effect mixed up?

“As a counsellor, I can only take you as far as I have been willing to go in my own life.” Does this mean that clients cannot become psychologically healthier than their therapists? I do not believe this is true, and it would worry me considerably if it were.

Is it true that counsellors “cannot give” advice or information? I have found that my position has changed over the years, that I have needed to investigate my primary bias as a counsellor, that other people “should be” in the flow of experiencing and I am there purely to facilitate their own growth.

Interesting research results indicate that sixty percent of private practice dynamically oriented psychotherapy clients feel that their therapy either lasted too long or ended too soon. Is it the case that money, or patience, run out?

One of Carl Rogers’ most important contributions to counselling theory and practice was to give up the idea of having goals, and be open to following whatever direction the client might uncover, wherever it might lead. What about Item 4, then: “It is important to discuss your goals with you. What brought you here? What do you hope to achieve?”

Finding, cultivating, even celebrating an ability to accept ourselves in all our messy imperfection is a major element of counselling. The idea of the perfect counsellor is one which we need to dispel, rather than apologising for not living up to it.