Most folks know the feeling of shame so well, they can hardly understand that character-impaired people may have different underlying motives for their behavior. Erroneous notions about human nature may make sense in the context of ‘neurotic’ personalities, but when trying to understand character-impairment they leave us vulnerable to abuse and manipulation.

As the latest media circus in the U.S. demonstrates, having some regret simply isn’t enough to make a person mend their ways; and important lessons can be gleaned by distinguishing between selfish, personal regret and genuine repentance.

To be fully aware and embracing of all that is within us and consciously seeking to be all that we can be is our most noble quest.

There is no automatic connection between regret and having the motivation to change oneself for the better. Regret alone is not enough to prompt a person to change their ways.

Feigning ignorance is an effective tactic that manipulates the person confronting the behavior into having doubts about the legitimacy of the issue they’re trying to bring to the other person’s attention.

Neurotics try hard not only to project a positive image, but also to do the right thing. Disordered characters know this very well. So, when the person with a disturbed character wants to manipulate a good neurotic, all they have to do is somehow convince them that they’ve done wrong or behaved in a manner they should feel ashamed of.

Effective manipulation tactics simultaneously put others on the defensive while also obscuring or denying the malevolent intent of the person using them. Such tactics are particularly effective on neurotic individuals — especially those who always want to think the best of people and who strive hard to understand what would make a person behave in a problematic way.