As we swam in the covered pool, I looked through the windows at people walking to the shops wearing coats, hats and scarves. Outside, at four o’clock in the afternoon, it was dark, and freezing. Inside, just on the other side of a thin pane of glass, it was bright and steamy, and we moved around in the water freely. It made me wonder about the different worlds we all live in.
The lesson that it is facilitative not to press others to disclose, and to communicate that lack of pressure explicitly, is a useful one in all kinds of relationships; mothers persistently asking their children to tell them what happened at school springs to mind, as does the situation in which the stereotypical wife ‘asks the husband to talk about his feelings’.
Empathy is not the act of getting lost in the state of the other. Otherwise, when a client is drowning, we would be pulled in and drown ourselves, which would be of little help to anyone. Rogers produced a sensible working definition of empathy when he wrote about sensing the client’s private world as if it were your own. Is this essential to therapy?
Back in the February Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases, researchers from Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) reported the first physiologic evidence of therapists and clients being measurably ‘on the same wavelength’ during live psychotherapy sessions. Clients and therapists had similar physiologic responses during moments of high positive emotion, and the more similar the responses were, the greater the level of therapist empathy experienced by clients.
As a video message from one of the London suicide bombers offers the first direct glimpse into terrorist motivations and psychology, public statements from politicians continue to suggest that they are unwilling or unable to engage in fact-based analysis of the terrorist threat.
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