Dealing with someone who is covertly aggressive is always a challenge — and especially so in the workplace, where we can feel trapped. Here are four tips to help cope with this kind of manipulative behavior.

Bullies and their victims are as much iconic figures in school life as rock stars and cowboys. Lately anti-bullying crusaders have spoken out against bullying in all its forms. As laudable as these measures are, I fear denunciation and zero-tolerance policies at schools do not address the difficult truths of bullying.

What do misbehaving toddlers, out-of-control rock stars, and sleazy online vendors all have in common? They’re all depending on the same psychological principle to keep themselves in the limelight.

Overt and covert intimidation become more effective when the manipulator is skilled in communicating emotional tenacity, determination, and resolve, sending the message that the other party is no match in a contest with them.

Neurotics try hard not only to project a positive image, but also to do the right thing. Disordered characters know this very well. So, when the person with a disturbed character wants to manipulate a good neurotic, all they have to do is somehow convince them that they’ve done wrong or behaved in a manner they should feel ashamed of.

When he uses the tactic of minimization, the disturbed character is attempting to convince someone else that the wrongful thing he did wasn’t really as bad or as harmful as he knows it was and as he knows the other person thinks it was.

An offense involves fighting hard enough to secure a goal and remove obstacles to that goal. A defense involves expending just enough energy to ward off an attack or prevent injury.