Analytic psychotherapy has changed and developed since the time of Freud, with increasing emphasis on the therapeutic relationship. A recent survey of my former patients — seen over a period spanning five decades — highlights 9 particular ingredients that help place the relationship at the heart of successful therapy.

Our current societal entertainments are not so far removed from those depicted in The Hunger Games series. In order to get back on track, we ought to focus on our real lives and not on what passes for reality in the entertainment industry.

Doing so may not always be easy, but empirical research suggests that being grateful can help foster an overall sense of well-being and happiness. Taking note of the many things we have to feel thankful about can play a highly constructive role in the development of our world view and our character.

We all want love…or so we say. But, our choices in life and in love are driven not only by our wants, but also by our fears. This chilling truth hints at the seemingly odd connection between the words love and addiction.

The intensely socially repressive atmosphere of earlier times has been supplanted with an atmosphere of entitlement, permissiveness, and license. So it’s not surprising that it’s now more common for folks to lack enough shame or guilt to inhibit them from setting out to harm or manipulate others. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that significantly disturbed characters are everywhere.

Two important principles can help you move on and create a life that is healthy instead of toxic. The first is to overcome the ‘slot machine syndrome’ left from years of emotional investment, and the second is to redirect investments of emotional energy and time away from areas we have no power to control.

The first reason I wrote a book was that I wanted what everyone wants, to connect to others in some meaningful way when I could not bear to do so directly.