What happened in Tucson is no doubt a genuine tragedy. But it will be an even bigger calamity if we don’t learn from it and start attending to our systems of mental health care so that individuals with serious problems can secure help before disaster strikes.

The recent death of actor Leslie Nielsen touched me with sadness; he was a good actor and a funny man, and his films made me laugh till my cheeks ached. It made me reflect on how — if at all — any of us can expect to be remembered after our death and whether our existence will be marked in any meaningful way.

Death and mourning are both ubiquitous and yet unique. We are all bound to go through it sooner or later, and for each of us, it will be a singular and individual experience. Yet modern life demands that the laying to rest of loved ones must, by necessity, proceed according to imposed schedules. And that can mean a clash between the needs of the individual for time to mourn and those of society to provide funeral services for all.

The endings of counselling relationships, like those of all relationships, can be difficult and painful. But they also have the potential to offer great therapeutic benefit to clients whose prior experience of endings has been traumatic. Counsellors too can benefit from a well-handled end to therapeutic work.

Rush isn’t your average rock band. They sidestepped critical barbs and temptations on tour to develop a unique sound and voice. Though scarred by personal tragedy, the trio stuck together for over 40 years and never stopped pushing their limits. Their success comes as much from key choices made along the way as it does from talent or passion.

Some cultures afford very special status to death anniversaries, offering a chance to celebrate the life and memory of a loved one lost as well as to renew our appreciation for those who remain.

To paraphrase Harryman, sometimes, stuff just happens. How we respond determines whether we use that stuff to grow flowers or just end up smelling bad…