It seems that conscious choice and the exercising of responsibility are good for us — physically, psychologically, and even, according to new research, morally. Apparently, those who have a strong belief in their own power and influence over events are less likely to cheat, lie and steal.
Self-Help is a massive and growing industry. Are these books really selling the secrets to happiness, thinness and wealth? Or are they making profits from the comforting illusion that these things are really for sale?
One of Carl Rogers’ most important contributions to counselling theory and practice was to give up the idea of having goals, and be open to following whatever direction the client might uncover, wherever it might lead. What about Item 4, then: “It is important to discuss your goals with you. What brought you here? What do you hope to achieve?”
An article by Connie Miller defines the concept of co-dependency beautifully, as “an absence of relationship with the self”. By looking outside to others for confirmation of who we are, and that we are OK, we lose contact with ourselves.
“Everyone is in denial about something; just try denying it and watch friends make a list.” An article in the New York Times looks at research on denial and comes to the conclusion that far from being a destructive force it is a necessary part of life, which both protects us and actually helps us to form and nourish relationships.
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