Readers continue to tell us that Dr Carver’s article about relationship losers, abusers, manipulators and controllers — and how you can protect yourself from them — rings true. How about you? Have you dealt with someone like this?
“Everything happens for a reason”, they say, and “their” opinion has become pretty mainstream. This supposedly positive thinking is an undeniable part of how we human beings are; we’ve been making myths and stories and religions out of reality for as long as we have been human. I nonetheless want to scream “oh no it doesn’t!”
How does it happen that intelligent people stay with abusive therapists or self development leaders or healers for so long, becoming more and more dependent, and giving them more and more money?
Therapy creates a situation in which someone by definition in distress or wanting to change meets a professional who says they have the knowledge and skills to help the other, and thus charges money for a service, which is extremely hard to define. The power differential is built in and the potential for abuse is great.
Dr Carver’s thoughts — and his thoughtful replies — on manipulators and controllers in relationships continue to resonate with our readers. It seems that experience with this type of behaviour (‘loser’ behaviour, for short) is widespread, and consistent themes are being reported by people from all walks of life. This thread continues the discussion.
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