Embarking on a new path requires ending an old walk, and new birth always involves a death of some sort. New beginnings can’t really happen until we’ve genuinely parted company with old ways.

It’s been ten years since terrorists attacked the United States. Much has happened since then, but some of the lessons we learned seem to be the wrong ones. Instead of continuing down our path filled with rage, perhaps it’s time to learn from the examples of others and actually deal with our feelings. Only then we can move forward.

I recently wrote about how our emotions can become tangled up with possessions and artifacts that represent past experiences and relationships; how our homes gradually fill up with ‘stuff’ — literal and metaphorical — that blocks us from moving on. But how do we actually go about clearing the clutter?

When someone is deep in thought, we say “I could see the gears turning in their head.” But what happens when those gears refuse to turn properly?

Two important principles can help you move on and create a life that is healthy instead of toxic. The first is to overcome the ‘slot machine syndrome’ left from years of emotional investment, and the second is to redirect investments of emotional energy and time away from areas we have no power to control.

Certain dates and the events that took place on them have resonance and meaning for us; they shape our sense of who we are, individually and collectively. TV schedulers like to run documentaries on the anniversary of important events, reflecting on the experiences of those involved with the benefit of hindsight, and usually ending by asking how far we’ve come and what we’ve learned. Could this be a useful exercise for us as individuals too?

Picking school as a model for adult working life is a serious but common error. The trouble is the large number of ‘givens’ of student life that are actually toxic to a quality adult life.