As the counselling room is a safe place for all those fears and emotions, including the not so pretty ones, to be, so eventually we learn that we ourselves are a safe place for them to be. We eventually, slowly, gain some experience in being separate from uncomfortable feelings, in being, in fact, bigger than they are.

So much of the pain we go through with loved ones is down to communication failure — to each person assuming that the other speaks and thinks in the same way that they do. I thought of that today as I had a rerun of one of the top ten conflicts I have with my husband…

So, stress before and during pregnancy affects not only the gender of the baby but their future health and, so we are told, their intelligence. Not too much pressure, then!

Whereas once the bullying that occurred in school corridors or in the streets could be escaped from at home, now every part of a child’s private world can be touched by bullying, and it can be seen by absolutely everyone who knows you and thousands who don’t. The scope for harassment and bullying is now immense.

It’s as if you live in an extremely cluttered room or in your own handbag. You can look at each object and work out where it comes from, who is associated with it, what it means to you and if it is of any use to you now — as in therapy. You can just throw it all away, but you are going to regret that! Or — you can make some kind of temporary space in there in which to work.

We have all heard of the fight-flight response, the system which kicks in automatically when we perceive danger. Less commonly known are the neural circuits triggered by social contact that calm the heart, relax the gut, and switch off fear.

Meditation is not about going blank, being emptied of thoughts and desires, and going round with a vacant smile. Meditation is about being aware, awake, being present with your mind.