Has-Been Syndrome

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The fear that opportunity has passed us by, perhaps forever, is among the most painful feelings we can ever experience.

In Pulp Fiction, mob boss Marsellus Wallace wants to convince aging boxer Butch Coolidge to throw a fight. Attempting to paint Butch as all washed up, he opines, “and if you were gonna make it, you would have made it before now.” Even though Wallace is the bad guy, how many times are we haunted by our own inner critic who tells us in no uncertain terms that our time has passed and we should give up? I’ve even heard a name for this phenomenon: “has-been syndrome.”

Where did this idea come from? In brief, it comes from expectations. We expect things of ourselves, as do our parents, teachers, bosses and spouses. With little prompting, we develop scripts, imaginary railroad tracks that our lives are supposed to run along. Then we’re upset when something else happens.

Has-been syndrome is also fueled by comparisons. In most human endeavors, there is an expected timeline of achievement. Those running ahead of schedule are prodigies while those who manage to achieve “past their prime” are oddities. While there is some truth in the idea that peak achievement is easier at some ages than others, modern medicine and shifting views are changing what we believe about success and age.

If we must make comparisons, here are a few that undermine the doctrine of the has-beens. Artist Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known by her moniker “Grandma Moses”, didn’t begin painting until her 70s and reached the peak of her fame near her hundredth birthday. Actor Rodney Dangerfield started his comedy and acting career in his 40s. Colonel Sanders banked on his distinguished elderly image to promote his Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain when he was in his 60s.

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As hungry as we are for success, few have a realistic understanding of how to get there or what “being successful” feels like. We often talk about great performances and say “she made that look easy.” Sometimes it even feels easy, but often times quite the opposite is true. The best distance runners, when they are being honest, suffer tremendous pain when they run competitively. There doesn’t seem to be any way around it. Even when success is painless, we the audience easily overlook the hours and hours of practice, failure, and frustration that preceded “effortless” performance. Malcolm Gladwell sets the time cost of expertise at ten thousand hours of rigorous practice.

Getting those ten thousand hours requires not just time and patience, but motivation. Usually the people who get to mastery manage to get some enjoyment out of the process along the way. It’s not reasonable to set oneself up for years of work with absolutely no payout. If I had to pick between two fields of expertise, I’d chose the more enjoyable one not only for my own enjoyment during the process, but because I believe I’d be able to stay in the game long enough to become an expert.

Has-been syndrome flourishes where goals are lofty and all-or-nothing. If the only way to win is to beat everyone else, success is going to be a long time coming. If peak performance is what you truly want, competing with your personal best might be a more motivating goal. And if the process of becoming better is enjoyable in and of itself, so much the better.

Perhaps the strongest remedy for has-been syndrome is the realization that it’s based on a dark fantasy of a future we can never truly know. How many times has your life already taken an unexpected turn — for better or worse? While avoiding prediction altogether is futile, holding our views of the future lightly is a good antidote to hopelessness.

Time wasted can never be regained and a certain urgency can help us get where we want to go. Yet when the urgency turns to desperation or despair, we are at risk for a case of has-been syndrome. Before the symptoms get any worse, it’s time to check our comparisons, look for better role models, and reconsider how we define and perceive success itself.

All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. This specific article was originally published by on and was last reviewed or updated by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on .

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