I also used to believe that all “evil” was rooted in the frustration of basic human needs and desires. That belief stemmed from the never-demonstrated but long-assumed tenets of many classical psychology theories that view all human beings as essentially the same (theorists as diverse as Freud to the founding fathers of “behaviorism” believed this) and would be without any pathology were it not for the experiences that shaped them otherwise.

As I’ve grown as an individual as well as a mental health professional, I’ve become much more comfortable with the notion that their is a grand symphony of individual differences among us. And, it’s not just nature or nurture. It’s both. At some point in all of our lives, we have to not only accept that, but deal with it. We may have some scars from childhood and we may have dysfunctional traits that we come by naturally, but whatever their source, we have to take stock of our characteristics and decide what kind of person we will be.

Being truthful with others about these things is not really the issue. It’s HOW we go about confronting and directing attention to the issues. That’s what the “art” of therapy is all about. Timing, empathy, style, etc. all contribute to how benignly and effectively a therapist might confront. Unfortunately, however, some shy away from confrontation altogether, giving their clients only a vehicle to vent, alleviating their symptoms only, while “enabling” them to remain unchanged.

I find that most people “choose” to do or be evil because it is the easier course. Taking a realistic look at oneself and reckoning not only with your strengths but also your deficiencies of character is not pleasant or particularly attractive business. If a person is in sufficient pain, they might at least be prompted to cry for help. But to actually invest oneself in meaningful change and self-development requires that we submit ourselves to a higher principle or purpose.

To me, it’s like holding a mirror when not everyone is willing to see what’s reflected in it. Sometimes it takes a lot of tact and diplomacy to tell when it’s the right time to tell the truth or if it’s better to wait until later, but maybe “later” is not the advisable option.

And the other aspect it’s important to consider is to tell the truth in the most objective and emotion-less fashion. Sometimes, in our honest desire to help others we become too excited and too strict or intense in expressing the truth, and may appear before others as “pushy” or even as a narrow minded person who does not accept another viewpoint, when this is not so.

I used to believe “evil” was rooted in frustration, like anger, but it’s not always the case. To me, it will remain a mystery why some people “are” evil and other people “choose” to be evil.

Being able to recognize character as being truthful or deceitful continues to be a challenge for me when dealing with people at the work level or on a personal level. I have to keep in my mind the fact that there are disturbed characters I will encounter, or people who are simply not well-adjusted for whatever reason.

I’ve all but given up on dating for this reason for now. Evidently I can’t handle or accept any deceit and there is a lot of that to go around. The brick walls are numerous when it comes to developing interdependent friendships. Forget that. Why, I don’t know. Should I scale down my expectations? I don’t think so.

The opposite of LOVE is not hate! it is Use

The Psycopath/Sociopath in my life is gone ! Thank God! but the damage is done. God grant me the wisdom to know the difference between Good and evil!

PS Thanks DR. for your reply to my Question ! Time, Selfworth, Learning from our mistakes , Why do I always have to learn the hard way ? =) Jere