Comments on: Empowerment Tools: Keep the Weight of Responsibility for Change Where it Belongs http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/ Looking at life through the prism of psychology, philosophy, mental health and more. Originally created by counsellor, psychotherapist and philosopher Dr Greg Mulhauser, this blog is now the work of an international team of contributors. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:06:01 -0500 hourly 1 By: Marisol http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-50036 Marisol Sun, 31 May 2009 02:54:41 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-50036 Aha! Ya te entendi...disculpa por la confusion> M :} Aha! Ya te entendi…disculpa por la confusion>
M :}

]]> By: Mariana http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-50021 Mariana Wed, 27 May 2009 03:16:45 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-50021 Hola Marisol, I hope you speak Spanish, like me. Spanish clarification... Me refería a que algunas personas suelen usar palabras condicionales, por ejemplo: Si tú no hubieras... entonces, yo habría podido... es una manera de hablar hipotéticamente de cosas que "podrían haber ocurrido, pero que en realidad no ocurrieron de esa manera". Este uso de los verbos o palabras/frases condicionales, les permite a los manipuladores echarle la culpa a la persona que es víctima del maltrato psicológico. Por eso, creo que es importante observar y escuchar atentamente cuando un abusador o manipulador habla... muchas veces podemos detectar ciertos patrones de conducta, ya que las mismas palabras que ellos dicen, los delatan y los ponen en evidencia. Cariños - In caso you do not speak Spanish, please let me know ;) Hola Marisol, I hope you speak Spanish, like me. Spanish clarification… Me refería a que algunas personas suelen usar palabras condicionales, por ejemplo: Si tú no hubieras… entonces, yo habría podido… es una manera de hablar hipotéticamente de cosas que “podrían haber ocurrido, pero que en realidad no ocurrieron de esa manera”. Este uso de los verbos o palabras/frases condicionales, les permite a los manipuladores echarle la culpa a la persona que es víctima del maltrato psicológico. Por eso, creo que es importante observar y escuchar atentamente cuando un abusador o manipulador habla… muchas veces podemos detectar ciertos patrones de conducta, ya que las mismas palabras que ellos dicen, los delatan y los ponen en evidencia.

Cari̱os РIn caso you do not speak Spanish, please let me know ;)

]]> By: Marisol http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-50018 Marisol Tue, 26 May 2009 03:36:23 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-50018 Or may be that the only thing I wish for me and my children is to be treated with dignity and respect…. No matter in which grammatical tense that would be.No matter if I continue married, divorce, widow or single. Or may be that the only thing I wish for me and my children is to be treated with dignity and respect…. No matter in which grammatical tense that would be.No matter if I continue married, divorce, widow or single.

]]> By: Marisol http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-50017 Marisol Tue, 26 May 2009 03:24:30 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-50017 Hi Mariana, What fo you mean by, “If” denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different. I dont get it. May be b/c my first language is not english or b/c today I am particularly sensitive. M Hi Mariana,
What fo you mean by, “If” denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different. I dont get it. May be b/c my first language is not english or b/c today I am particularly sensitive.
M

]]> By: Mariana http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-50016 Mariana Tue, 26 May 2009 00:51:58 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-50016 Interestingly, one of the things I keep an eye on is the use of the conditional tense in people's speech... The "If you had/hadn't.... then, I would have...." Those little "If"s and "would"s or "Wouldn't"s reveal much more than just an expression of complaint. Like you pointed out here very well, they can conceal a manipulative action such as placing the responsibility on the other person, or they may also point out a person who lives out of reality. "If" denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different. Great post, Dr. Simon :) Interestingly, one of the things I keep an eye on is the use of the conditional tense in people’s speech… The “If you had/hadn’t…. then, I would have….” Those little “If”s and “would”s or “Wouldn’t”s reveal much more than just an expression of complaint.

Like you pointed out here very well, they can conceal a manipulative action such as placing the responsibility on the other person, or they may also point out a person who lives out of reality. “If” denotes a hypothetical case or event (an assumption,) where reality has been different.

Great post, Dr. Simon :)

]]> By: Marisol http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/05/20/empowerment-tools-keep-the-weight-of-responsibility-for-change-where-it-belongs/#comment-49979 Marisol Thu, 21 May 2009 03:19:25 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1672#comment-49979 This is quite common for me. I am realizing the problem with poor boundaries I have. I not only want to change other people behaviors at home, but as well at work and not paying attention to my own flaws. I would appreciate if you include more articles in maintaining boundaries. Thanks, :) This is quite common for me. I am realizing the problem with poor boundaries I have. I not only want to change other people behaviors at home, but as well at work and not paying attention to my own flaws. I would appreciate if you include more articles in maintaining boundaries.
Thanks,
:)

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