Comments on: Evasion and Diversion as Manipulation Tactics http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/03/05/evasion-and-diversion/ Looking at life through the prism of psychology, philosophy, mental health and more. Originally created by counsellor, psychotherapist and philosopher Dr Greg Mulhauser, this blog is now the work of an international team of contributors. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:49:10 +0000 hourly 1 By: P Cook http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/03/05/evasion-and-diversion/#comment-50398 P Cook Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:41:56 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1344#comment-50398 My step-son is causing serious issues in our family by claiming suicidal thoughts and behavior. He has a therapist, is medicated, and in his 20's. However, he does the evasion and diversion, I mean literally.This article described him to a tee. For instance, everytime he's been "suicidal" its usually around a time when he needs money,or just simply wants attention. For example, he didn't pay a bill, his friends have a better lifestyle than him, things are not up to his standards, etc. Its pretty obvious now that he wants to keep his money and spend everyone else's at this point. Essentially, I'm dealing with a 13 year old in a 20 year old body. My question is, how can we positively address/handle this behavior without pushing buttons while in therapy? I don't think he is suicidal, but I'm definitely not willing to take that risk. I'm very concerned for my wife as this is taking a toll on her health and emotional state. My step-son is causing serious issues in our family by claiming suicidal thoughts and behavior. He has a therapist, is medicated, and in his 20′s. However, he does the evasion and diversion, I mean literally.This article described him to a tee. For instance, everytime he’s been “suicidal” its usually around a time when he needs money,or just simply wants attention. For example, he didn’t pay a bill, his friends have a better lifestyle than him, things are not up to his standards, etc. Its pretty obvious now that he wants to keep his money and spend everyone else’s at this point. Essentially, I’m dealing with a 13 year old in a 20 year old body.
My question is, how can we positively address/handle this behavior without pushing buttons while in therapy? I don’t think he is suicidal, but I’m definitely not willing to take that risk. I’m very concerned for my wife as this is taking a toll on her health and emotional state.

]]> By: So Much More Than A Mom http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/03/05/evasion-and-diversion/#comment-48934 So Much More Than A Mom Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:54:52 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1344#comment-48934 I agree with Barbara. It is SO confusing and the way you are breaking them down here is incredibly helpful. Each time I read an article, I think, "ah...he/she was using this one when I brought that subject up...", etc. I agree with Barbara. It is SO confusing and the way you are breaking them down here is incredibly helpful. Each time I read an article, I think, “ah…he/she was using this one when I brought that subject up…”, etc.

]]> By: Dr George Simon, PhD http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/03/05/evasion-and-diversion/#comment-48933 Dr George Simon, PhD Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:26:09 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1344#comment-48933 A great point to make, Barbara. In fact, disordered characters, most especially the aggressive personalities, are so skilled in the use of the tactics that they generally launch a barrage of tactics simultaneously and the person on the receiving end of these tactics often has the experience of someone who has whiplash - they don't even know all that's happened until the damage is already done. Sometimes, when a few tactics don't seem to be working, they'll quickly move on to others. So, knowing all the tactics by heart is really important. That way, you can be inoculated against future manipulative encounters. A great point to make, Barbara. In fact, disordered characters, most especially the aggressive personalities, are so skilled in the use of the tactics that they generally launch a barrage of tactics simultaneously and the person on the receiving end of these tactics often has the experience of someone who has whiplash – they don’t even know all that’s happened until the damage is already done. Sometimes, when a few tactics don’t seem to be working, they’ll quickly move on to others. So, knowing all the tactics by heart is really important. That way, you can be inoculated against future manipulative encounters.

]]> By: Barbara http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/03/05/evasion-and-diversion/#comment-48928 Barbara Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:56:12 +0000 http://counsellingresource.com/features/?p=1344#comment-48928 Dr Simon, The more I read here, especially how you've broken down very specific behaviors, the more I learn. It seems to me why I often haven't understood all these behaviors is because, in real life, many different tactics, manipulations and behaviors are all mixed, used in conjunction with one another. Often flipping back and forth, deliberately meant to confuse. It was difficult for me to untangle what I was seeing. I appreciate you straightening things out by very specific definition and example. Dr Simon,

The more I read here, especially how you’ve broken down very specific behaviors, the more I learn. It seems to me why I often haven’t understood all these behaviors is because, in real life, many different tactics, manipulations and behaviors are all mixed, used in conjunction with one another. Often flipping back and forth, deliberately meant to confuse. It was difficult for me to untangle what I was seeing. I appreciate you straightening things out by very specific definition and example.

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