I agree.

I personally believe that recognizing the “I don’t work” part is the very first step to a successful change in a person’s life.

Sometimes people tend to find the answers to their problems outside, when they actually lie inside.

Great post!

One thing I do know, is that governmental agencies, i.e., (probation departments, social service departments, corrections, etc.), spend a great deal of time and tax payer’s money attempting to make others change. This is to no avail and often at the expense of those who DO want to change. There are all kinds of “cognitive behavioral” programs out there. But just like a person giving counseling into a walkie-talkie and expecting an answer, if the other walkie-talkie “isn’t on,” all the counseling in the world will make no difference.

Perhaps in juvenile justice, separating those who want to work toward change from those who do not is an answer. It could be worth a try to see if we get more “bang for our buck” working with those who are ready, instead of using programs designed to “change” others. More and more people are writing these things. Thank you for offering the forum!

Tom Kratochvil, Ph.D.

It’s delightful to hear this. It is comments like this that I (and the others here) treasure.

Many thanks for your comment.

Something that has always been a life long goal to me has been to understand people and myself included. I have to say since I have been reading here on this site for about 6 months now. I can say that I really have learned a great deal about different mindsets and views of people. This has been a definate help in needed changes in my life.
It has given me clarity in so many areas of my life. It has added depth of understanding and compassion into my life. Thanks for being par tof my growth, Evan!

I too hope that we see that we can’t change others. I hope we see that we can support those who want to change and are willing to do the work. I think that we would then have much less recidivism.

Thanks for your comment. It often surprises me who it is that makes the changes and does the work. Sometimes it is those who have the ‘worst’ background and other times those from ‘better’ backgrounds. I find it pretty unpredictable who will make the changes. Have you found this or over the years have you developed a feel for those who will and those who won’t? I’d like to hear either way.

Thanks for your comment.

Across the country, social scientists and alleged juvenile delinquency experts have attempted to change others. They want their attempt to work so much, they lose sight of what you have pointed out. People have to want to change first. I have offered that “recidivism is the responsibility of the perpetrator” not any county or state agency. Your guests at this site support that view in that they have decided to change and then taken action to do so.

I hope this honest appraisal of change and how it takes place catches on, because only by realizing it can we make better choices in assessments and in working with and helping others.

Dr. Tom

I too find connection with others very helpful. Thanks for your comment, and good luck with the change you are making.

Small steps and celebrating my success for every one achieved works for me. I hope it continues to work for you.

I’m looking forward to seeing others’ comments and learning from them too. Thank you for your contribution.