Irrelevant, External, and “Hard-Luck” Thinking
These three problematic thinking patterns tend to co-occur and lead to considerable problems with the disturbed character developing any sense of personal responsibility and accountability.
I’ve been posting a series of articles on the erroneous ways disordered characters tend to think that lead to significant behavior and relationship problems. Some of the “thinking errors” I’ve addressed already include unreasonable thinking, possessive thinking, combative thinking, and prideful thinking:
- “The Unreasonable Thinking of Disturbed Characters”
- “Possessive Thinking and the Disturbed Character”
- “Having to Win: Combative Thinking and Character Disturbance”
- “Impression Management and Arrogance: The Prideful Thinking of the Disordered Character”
There are some problematic thinking patterns that tend to co-occur and lead to considerable problems with the disturbed character developing any sense of personal responsibility and accountability. I call three of these thinking errors that tend to cluster together irrelevant thinking, external thinking, and hard-luck thinking.
When disordered characters engage in irrelevant thinking, they will often focus on the small, petty aspects of situations but ignore the most important things or the “big picture.” They’ll take issue with their boss, the government, or with their partners on trivialities while not paying attention to the things that really matter. They’ll get hung-up on a “technicality” or small inaccuracy while ignoring the larger truth. For example, they might complain that a highway patrolman claimed they were exceeding the speed limit by a much greater degree than they actually were, while totally ignoring the fact that they were driving recklessly and endangering others. Their habitual attention to things not really relevant leads them to develop attitudes of pettiness and thoughtlessness.
Disordered characters will also often direct negative attention toward things outside of their ability to control. They will brood about the actions or opinions of others and invest a lot of emotional energy in things they can’t realistically exercise power over. I call this kind of thinking external thinking. When things go wrong, disturbed characters don’t spend nearly enough time or energy thinking about changes they can make in their own behavior to make things better. Rather, they focus on external circumstances. They make what mental health professionals call external attributions with respect to the causality of events. That is, they ascribe the causality of (i.e., blame for) events to external sources which fuels their penchant for blaming others and circumstances — when they should be taking a hard look at themselves. This kind of thinking is frequently involved in the responsibility-avoidance tactic of blaming others (more about this in a series of posts to follow the current series). Focusing on external events and external factors breeds an attitude of irresponsibility as well as pessimistic and negative attitudes about the world.
Finally, I’ve counseled many a disordered character over the years prone to what I call hard-luck thinking. The disturbed character often sees himself as a victim of circumstances instead of a person responsible for his own choices, his own actions, and the consequences of those choices and actions. Disordered characters frequently sit on their “pity-pots,” feeling sorry for themselves and the “raw deals” they imagine they have been dealt in life. This kind of thinking leads them to develop attitudes of bitterness and resentment and is one of the reasons why they enter into relationships with a fairly substantial chip already on their shoulders.
Other articles by Dr George Simon, PhD
This article was last reviewed by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on Thursday, 8th January 2009. You can leave a reply below.
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8th January 2009
*So* true!
10th January 2009
So at the time you hear them complaining about the “supposed” lie the officer told in your example above, should you remind them of the greater picture? Should you say a keyword such as watch the “irrelevant details”? Of course you run the chance of them turning their criticism onto you at which point you should disengage? We don’t want to enable a lie but we don’t want to get sucked into their reality either, like it is up to us to fix them. I notice that if I do nothing but just listen it is like I am agreeing to the point he is making. Then he later brings it up as fact over and over. Although if I say I disagree, he will just say that he knows I disagree but he wants me to hear him over and over like one day I’ll just wake up and know he has spoken truth for which my ears have been closed up to this point.
12th January 2009
Good question, Karen. Your comments indicate you already have good insight into this kind of situation.
Sometimes, remaining silent appears like passive acquiescence or even endorsement. But sometimes it’s the best way to not reinforce. One way to counter the tendency to incessantly attend to the irrelevant until you capitulate is to deliberately mention a time or two when the person exhibited full accountability and attention to the relevant without going off on tangents and indicate how much respect and admiration you had for that. That puts the person in a bind whereby they can either choose keep focusing on the irrelevant and secure no reinforcement or change their tact and secure some positive regard.
The most important thing to remember about any of these erroneous thinking patterns is that as long as they are present, there is a high likelihood that the maladaptive behavior such thinking spawned will occur again in the near future.