Extreme Thinking: Black and White, All or None

By Dr George Simon, PhD

Disordered characters tend to perceive things in terms of black-and-white or all-or-none.

I’ve been posting on the ways persons with disturbed characters tend to think. Prior posts have addressed their penchants for egocentric thinking and possessive thinking. (See “Egocentric Thinking Patterns of Disturbed Characters” and “Possessive Thinking and the Disturbed Character”.)

Disordered characters also tend to perceive things in terms of black-and-white or all-or-none. They might take the position that if they can’t have everything they ask for, they won’t accept anything at all. If someone doesn’t agree with everything they say, they will frame it as not being valued or listened to in any way. If they don’t see themselves as completely on top of things and in total control, they will cast their circumstance as being on the bottom and the victim of someone else’s oppression.

This all-or-none and black-and-white type of thinking is what prompts the disordered character’s behavior of carrying things to extremes. In other words, extreme thinking leads to extreme behaviors. Such thinking interferes with a person’s ability to develop any sense of moderation. It also promotes an uncompromising attitude that causes untold problems in relationships.

Dealing with individuals prone to extreme thinking can be truly exasperating. You try to reach some amicable middle ground with them, but it’s next to impossible. Somehow you always end up feeling like “it’s their way or the highway.” There’s no room for negotiation or compromise, and it leaves you feeling like there’s no way to win.

Extreme thinking and the uncompromising attitude promoted by it are at the root of the stubborn and unyielding behaviors disturbed characters display that can easily decimate a relationship. A person who thinks in extremes will not be prone to give ground, and giving some ground is essential to reaching compromises in life’s many conflicts.

16 Responses (4 Discussion Threads) to “Extreme Thinking: Black and White, All or None”

« Older Comments

Florin

11
21st July 2009

Hi all,
Interesting topic. I’m black and white. What’s actually wrong in beeing like that? And second question why do you call it all the time black and white when I don’t see the white in any of your examples(I’m talking about all website that deal with this topic all or none, black and white.
Where is the positive site? Have you found any client on positive site. If you try to help with something why do you talk about black all the time?

Thanks and wait for a competent reply.
F.
- Dr George Simon, PhD
  
  11.1
  23rd July 2009
  
  Thanks for your comment, Florin. I’m not sure I fully understand what you’re trying to say, but let me take a stab at it.
  
  This article is part of a series on the types of thinking that are common to persons with disturbed characters. It’s not a condemnation of the type of thinking, per se. In fact, I have some other posts that address the issue of when it’s not only okay but advantageous for someone to have a rather uncompromising mind set (like when a brain surgeon is about to operate on someone). The problem for disturbed characters is that all the traits and thinking patterns this and other series have addressed cluster together in a manner that makes for difficult relationships between the disturbed character and others. The “black and white” metaphor is just that – a metaphor. There is no attempt to necessarily cast the “black” as bad or the “white as good. It’s merely a metaphor to illustrate some folks’ difficulty with seeing “shades of gray.” : )
Florin

12
23rd July 2009

Hi George,

Thanks for reply. Your message is grey which is normal for normal people. Let me tell you how I see black and white:

Black is when you take a decision based on dark feelings more than on rationalism and you realize that decision was stupid.
White is when your brain is working upon a less of 50% influence of dark feelings and the results is a success.

Please correct me if I’m wrong.
Can you give me some examples of dark feelings and white ones?
What means disturbed behavior? Can you define some limits where is normal and where is anormal?

Cheers,
Florin

« Older Comments

Page 2 of 2«12

The comment form is currently closed.