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“Over 1000 Reader Comments and Questions on ‘Losers’ and Personality Disorders” Comments, Page 8

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166 Responses (33 Discussion Threads) to “Over 1000 Reader Comments and Questions on ‘Losers’ and Personality Disorders”

  1. avatar image
    Diane
    71

    HI Margeret and All,

    Wow! Now that is some good news!!!!

    Now that’s some peace of mind!

    And a date too! Glad to hear you are growing stronger everyday and things are so much better now!

    Your recovery is definately there.

    I am still working on the plan. Business sucks!

    • avatar image
      margaret
      71.1

      re: business sucks. testify, sista!

  2. avatar image
    Diane
    72

    Margeret,
    You’re funny!

    • avatar image
      margaret
      72.1

      if I’d didn’t laugh I’d cry…

    • avatar image
      Diane
      72.2

      Me too!

  3. avatar image
    Diane
    73

    Hi Greg,
    Tech help Needed!
    I am recieving a message on my site but the message is not here on the board? Is it the new set up here?
    Thanks,
    Diane

  4. avatar image
    Diane
    74

    Hi Christina,
    I am glad you are doing well.

    Sorry to hear about the court delay so this can be over for you.
    You seem to be much more grounded and well on your way to a better life in spite of the court dealings you are in. Your writing reflects how far you have come. Good for you! You have gained insight and now are moving ahead in your life.

    You keep caring for you and your beautiful girls.
    Enjoy everyday! Live in today and keep your focus on the new future you and your girls will have together. Kepp us posted from time to time.

  5. avatar image
    Diane
    75

    Hi Greg,
    I figured out why it was not up on the board so please disregard the message. It is just not where it used to be.
    Diane

  6. avatar image
    Morris
    76

    Hi all,

    Just checking in…

    I am safe, sound, overworked, alone and a bit stressed out here in Houston! Then, again, I could be in the midst of a nervous breakdown, unemployed and probably dumped my “wife” in a parallel universe…

    Guess what a week from today is!? My anniversary of the day that I fled and took the big step to getting my life back! Yes, one year ago I was going through fits and preparing my escape. Hard to believe it…

    It is warm here in Houston, I have a very good job and am still working! I get to go home to my apartment here alone but at peace with myself; albeit overworked but still sane and healthy!

    • avatar image
      Diane
      76.1

      Hi Morris!

      I am glad to here from you! It been a year, Congradulations!

      “Dumped in a parrellel universe”…How funny! I Love that quantum physics stuff!

      Sorry you are so stressed out and tired: I hope its a good tired!!! You know the kind were there is contentment from achieving from a hard days work??? the kind where you gave your whole self and worked for the good of something larger than oneself!!!

      Take Care of yourself!
      Diane

      Shift the loneliness into peacefulness! You can do it!

  7. 77

    I think it’s wonderful so many people join the discussions on the blogs! Dr. carver’s articles are a wonderful source of information and very educational. It’s great to know so many people read them and discuss them here. Thanks for proving this forum to exchange different perspectives and learn each day more!

  8. avatar image
    Matt
    78

    About five years ago, I was having a great time dating various girls. Some worked out where we stayed friends and with others we couldn’t stand each other anymore. I had an issue with rejection and never could understand how somebody could care so much about you and then just drop you. Well, over the years I’ve learned how to work around that problem but I don’t think it will ever fully go away.

    Then I met my ex. I had no desire to be in a serious relationship until I met her. I persued her for months! Finally, she gave me a chance and we hit it off! We had such a great time which I guess is the “Honeymoon” period you refer too.

    She had a stalker ex boyfriend who would call at all hours of the day and night. The calls were so persistant that I began to get freaked out. Eventualy, she talked to him while I was there and I got so mad! Why are you having a conversation with this lunatic?

    According to her, he had cut her off from all her friends. I listened to all the stories and I don’t know if they were true or not. Finally, he tracked us down at Blockbuster one night and confronted her. She was shaking so bad I ran over and pushed him back! I wanted to fight him for all the bull! However, he left and as far as I know that was the last time he bothered her.

    After he finally was out of the picture I encouraged her to go out with her friends and reconnect. We thrived together in social groups and had so much fun! I asked her to marry me unofficialy and she said yes. I was head over heals for her!

    Then, she started getting jelous when I’d get a drink after work with a group of female co-workers. I mean hey, I was a bartender and all my co-workers were females. Then, she’d get so mad at me if I stopped at the bar for a drink waiting for her to get off of work.

    One night, I met up with her at a night club where she was with all her friends. Her best friend Jamie (had a boyfriend for 5 years) tried coming on to me and I never told Erica until we broke up. I watched Jamie cheat on her boyfriend every single time we went out without him… and I started questioning my Ex going out with Jamie so much.

    My ex started getting strange phone calls and she seemed to be hiding things. I started acting crazy… I started losing my trust for her. As time went on our relationship became everything I thought it would never be. She seemed more intent on hanging out with her friends then anything. I’d call her and if she didn’t pick up I’d wait. Hours would go by until I’d get calls at 3 or 4 in the morning to tell me she just got home and I’d hear guys in the background; I started to become a jelous guy.

    It got to the point where if we got in a fight she’d try and hit me. If I tried to restrain her she’d act like I hit her. Well I started catching her in lies. I was so in love I kept going back. Then I found myself acting like her ex, calling constantly.

    Would you call either of us a “loser”? I’m curious.

    • avatar image
      margaret
      78.1

      Dear Matt: I think it would be interesting and maybe more helpful for you to post this to Dr. Carver. I CAN say your relationship appears very unhealthy and headed toward violence that may be disastrous. There are many loser characteristics in both your behavior and hers. Is it just two people not well-suited bringing out the worst in each other? Or two true losers (in which case you would carry the same behavior from relationship to relationship)? One thing is certain. You two should NOT be together. This will end in tears…

  9. avatar image
    Toni
    79

    Hi from Australia – I just want to add my thoughts on the site and personal experiences after reading some of Dr Carvers articles and some of your blogs & answers from Greg.
    I accessed this site today for the 1st time after an unwanted visit from a “loser” this afternoon. It has really helped me “ground” myself & remind myself of the dangers of these people. Sounds like you guys are mostly from US but you find the same suspects everywhere believe me. I wish I had found the support of a site like this a few years ago after 5 years of hell – it would have made it so much easier to cope with.
    I found my own way through in the end – through personal & very lonely & traumatic research.
    I very quickly realised that trying to describe the situation to people when I hadn’t slept properly for months & was so stressed out I was ranting & raving like a lunatic! was hopeless. I later found out that trying to describe it EVEN WHEN I WAS CALM and back in control was hopeless!! Because to a person who has never come in contact with a “loser” (or who has not studied psychology etc) the concept of a human being with no empathy is just not comprehensible. It’s still not comprehensible to me, and although I am now possibly hyper-sensitive to personalities & character traits I do still find myself starting to get suckered in by these creeps! So it’s good to find reassurance from sites like these, even after you have worked your way through.

    Sites like these are not only invaluable but necessary – the support network they provide is a lifeline to many many people.

    Good luck & best wishes to you all – there’s no place for “losers” in your life
    Toni

    • avatar image
      Diane
      79.1

      Well Put!

      It’s very hard when you don’t find someone that you can relate this to and you are so right its great to find support by others because its so mind boggling when empathy is not part of someone’s core.

    • avatar image
      Ann
      79.2

      Hi Toni,

      Dr. Carver does say that “losers” keep their victims on the backburner until they need something. How long had it been since your last contact with the loser? For some strange reason I feel mine is going to contact me soon. I can’t explain it, but I’ve been having these feelings lately. You know, the kind of feeling you have when you think someone is watching you?

  10. avatar image
    Ann
    80

    Christina,

    You had a court date coming up mid March. How did that go?

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