Understanding the Sadistic Personality
Sadists love to build themselves up at the expense of others. It makes them feel powerful to wield almost tyrannical influence over those they perceive as weaker or inferior. They derive pleasure from watching others cower, grovel, or struggle in one-down positions.
I’ve been posting a series of articles on the “aggressive personalities.” This group of individuals is among the most seriously disordered in character of all the various personality types. Despite the fact that official diagnostic literature neither recognizes the inordinate predisposition for aggression as the core problem for such personalities nor recognizes the distinct differences between aggressive personality types, I have outlined what I believe to be the core attributes aggressive personalities in general as well as the major aggressive personality subtypes. I’ve written in more detail about the characteristics of the Unbridled Aggressive Personality as well as the Channeled-Aggressive Personality. (See “Understanding the Unbridled Aggressive Personality” and “Understanding the Channeled-Aggressive Personality”.)
The Sadistic Personality is a relatively rare but very different aggressive personality subtype. It’s not uncommon for any aggressive personality to injure others in some way in their relentless, thoughtless, and untempered pursuit of their agendas. They want what they want and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it. And, what distinguishes aggressive personalities from assertive personalities is that aggressive personalities don’t particularly care about whether others get hurt in the process, nor do they take particular heed not to injure others. All that said, most aggressive personalities do not set out to hurt others. Their objective, purely and simply, is to get what they want. Contrarily, sadistic personalities have a primary agenda of hurting, degrading, demeaning, and inflicting agony upon others.
Sadists love to build themselves up at the expense of others. It makes them feel powerful to wield almost tyrannical influence over those they perceive as weaker or inferior. They derive pleasure from watching others cower, grovel, or struggle in one-down positions.
When I was doing early research in the area of character disturbance, I happened to encounter a president of a small corporation who boasted to me quite frequently that he was aware that if he weren’t successful as a ruthless businessman, he would probably have ended up in prison for most of his life. He was well aware of his aggressive predispositions and the ruthless aggressiveness that permeated all of his interpersonal relations. One day I witnessed this man call a female subordinate into his office and begin to berate her in a most vicious fashion. The degree to which he brandished rage had me shaking a bit in my own boots. After he finished berating her, he warned her of dire consequences if she did not accede to his demands and then dismissed her.
As soon as the woman left the room he looked at me and began to smile and chuckle. He expressed that his pre-planned expression of rage was meant to instill fear in the woman and that he was sure she would be more conscientious about doing his bidding because of it. He also expressed disgust for her weakness. His deliberate use of rage when in fact he seemed in a jovial mood after the fact made me aware for the first time how rage can be used as a manipulation and control tactic and that it doesn’t have to arise out of genuine anger or hurt. The long self-aggrandizing speech this man then engaged in with me also let me know the degree to which he was willing to make his sense of his own power and worth dependent upon the degree to which he could make others feel powerless and worthless. This man was extremely adept at spotting fairly conscientious individuals in one-down positions in their lives who needed support and were willing to put up with his bullying behavior. He surrounded himself with these types of folks and relished opportunities to terrorize them.
Although Sadistic Personalities seem to be an increasing percentage of the aggressive personality types in prison settings, they do not appear to be very common in the general population. Nonetheless, they cause an inordinate amount of distress for those who happen to become entangled in some kind of relationship with them.
Traditional theories on personality development have always presumed that individuals like the sadistic personality became the way they are out of deep-seated feelings of inferiority or as a reaction to being themselves severely abused or demeaned as children. While it sometimes turns out that such things may be factors, there is no evidence to suggest that all such personalities have such characteristics in their background, although many will lie about it to engender the sympathy of others. Rather, it seems that the majority of these individuals simply consider themselves as superior to those whom they perceive as weak and take particular delight for pure entertainment’s sake in the torture of others.
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This article was last reviewed by on Thursday, 13th November 2008. You can leave a reply below.
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16th November 2008
Do sadistic personalities present with a low rating on scales of characteristics like integrity, empathy, ethics? Do sadistic personalities acknowledge that they are a minority in their beliefs and performances? Do they attempt to cover-up sadistic behaviour i.e. you note an over-representation of sadistic personalities in the prison population; does this suggest that sadistic personalities are predisposed to criminality? Any correlations?
I am happy that I have never personally met a sadistic personality; at least if I have, I did not know it! Can you comment on the personality types of people who tend to have relationships with sadistic personalities, if there is such a thing?!
17th November 2008
Great questions from Shams! There’s not a lot of reliable empirical data on Sadistic Personalities. My experience is that they are indeed lacking in the capacity for empathy. They also appear very aware of their beliefs and how those beliefs contrast with those of the majority. As to those who tend to have relationships with them, the ones that appear the most vulnerable are those whose self-images are so impoverished that they derive a sort of perverted sense of heightened self-esteem by thinking that despite the degradation they experience, at least their tormentor is willing to have something to do with them.
3rd May 2009
“…thinking that despite the degradation they experience, at least their tormentor is willing to have something to do with them.”
Yes…this is it. The thought pattern is like this: “poor man…no one understands him and due to his own hurts he has marginalized himself from society by not letting ANYONE near him…but I am special, because he has let me near him.”
Thank you Dr. Simon for these extensive entries. Now I realize, its the exact opposite. These people are constantly contriving interaction with others, but very selectively. It’s not even necessary that there be actual contact. The other party desiring contact and the sadist refusing contact is already enough narcissistic suppy to satisfy their hunger.
21st November 2008
Hi George,
I certainly know the types in my work (working with GM’s) and everyone on the job knows them well. Actually one went on prozac and everyone was surprised how much better he bacame. The guy could say “Hi” and you’d feel odd. And many of my friends left their positions because of guys like these.
25th March 2009
I have had (and still) the experience of dealing with the covert- aggressive, and sadistic personalities, and know just how hurtful these type people can be .
I am a semi-passive-type,(getting better!) and also an analytic.
Understanding what makes people tick, can sometimes help when having to deal this kind of personality.
I think that it is a very important tool, especially when having to work closely in the same space as someone with this personality type.
Carefully choose words and get point across without stepping on feelings, or creating more chaos in the process.
They definitely feel a need to show the world just how IMPORTANT they (think) are, how they (think) are above all others. The person I know did in fact come from an abusive situation growing up.
I find those who come from those types of situations, personalities can range from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Thank You for posting all this information, it is very helpful, after all knowledge is a very powerful thing.
29th March 2009
Thanks so much for your comment, Andrea.
29th March 2009
I guess I will never understand sadistic people, I cannot picture in my mind people enjoying hurting others… especially those who beat up children to show them who’s the boss, for instance, it’s just so insane.
30th March 2009
I have known people that enjoy tormenting children by telling them that were found in “a trash can”. I would’nt said that not even as a joke.
3rd May 2009
The word “sadistic” evokes a picture so extreme, we tend to think of obvious torture and brutality. Unfortunately, even this extreme agressive behavior can be insidious - making it difficult to recognize. When a person has this disorder, but still able to “function” in society, it laces through all activities - quietly torturing its victim. No more sex, ignoring important days and then enjoying how the victim begs for a little more love, attention, etc. If not careful…the aggressor will also make the neurotic believe that she (he) is at fault, because she’s become so cold…continuing the torture as she takes on the blame for his cruelty. She starts explaining herself - he gets a chance to see just how low she will go just to get a crumb of his attention. Beware, all of this happens in the realm of intellectual civilized (albeit teary) conversations. Disgusting! I write this, because the examples in many comments are very bad…but I have had the experience of sadistic behavior being so skillfully camouflaged (for the neurotic, that is. Family members and friends just shake their heads and wonder how such an attractive, confident and intelligent person could let herself be treated so bad) and therefore playing right into the hands of the sadist.
3rd May 2009
I dont understand sadistic people either and what is most important I dont want to understand them anylonger…I wont…they are really sick!I am taking them out off my life one by one…it’s hard work b/c they are clingy people. It is realy disgusting.