Is Counselling Learning?
Most of the difficulties in our lives we overcome by learning about them in some way. Should we adopt this approach to relationships and counselling?
On our way through life we encounter difficulties. Often enough these are difficulties about relationships. And the one’s that aren’t usually involve relationships. This is the realm where counselling tends to be used.
I would like to take a step back and look at this from a bigger perspective. We humans are born pretty ignorant. More positively, we learn almost everything: from walking to talking to…well, to pretty much everything that we do. We spend much time educating young people so that they will be able to live well (however ineffective this may be); and even as adults we spend lots of time learning new things (hobbies, new aspects to our jobs, and so on). From this point of view relationships are another area of life to learn about.
Seeing counselling as learning about relationships makes sense to me. I’m a pretty heady person, so this may be my personal bias. I know of some good education courses that have benefited many people — Emotional Literacy and Parent Effectiveness Training to name only two.
I think it was Erving Polster (a psychotherapist) who pointed out that counsellors often see the same problems and the same issues time and time again. He said words to the effect of: surely we can do better than just dealing with the same issue individual by individual; surely therapists could come up with a better way. The logical answer would be groups, perhaps educational groups.
The biggest problem with seeing therapy as education I think is the danger of its becoming a set of rules. Who wants to be told the ‘one right way’ to do their relationships? The picture I have of this is something like everyone needing to become chirpy, adolescent shop assistants — able to charm but with no real interest in a person. This is enough to turn my stomach.
This means that if psychotherapy is a kind of learning, then the education needs to be in particular ways. These ways I think don’t look much like schooling — people studying a curriculum of little relevance and no interest, and giving ‘right answers’. The therapy education would need to take real account of individuals’ experience, respect differences, and probably accommodate different ways of learning. Perhaps it is because this kind of education is so uncommon that therapy is not done more often as education.
I’d like to hear what you think. Do you think lots of people could be helped by an educational approach to counselling? Do you think that counselling is best left as something between two people? Let me hear your experiences in the comments.
Other articles by Evan Hadkins
This article was last reviewed by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on Tuesday, 4th November 2008. You can leave a reply below.
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14 Responses to “Is Counselling Learning?”
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Diane11
Hi Evan,
First I think counseling is learning and unlearning as well.
And loved Susan’s list and comment. And Cbtish, Barbara’s and Sarah’s.And I often think each moment in life is counseling/education as well.
Evan said,”The therapy education would need to take real account of individuals’ experience, respect differences, and probably accommodate different ways of learning.” Those attributes are definately necsassry for the process of education. I think it would be of great benefit to children and adults if this was more common. Here we have a class called Lifestyles class for highschoolers and it falls under the category of health I believe. And here there is also classes on all sorts of character building that goes on in classes throughout the year in elementary schools. These cover the bully and various sorts of friendship and quality leadership qualities. And ask their students how they could respond to___________if _____________happened.
Evan said, “Perhaps it is because this kind of education is so uncommon that therapy is not done more often as education.” I think its done in alot of workshops/seminars all over the world. But it doesn’t take the place of one on one therapy. But it definately enhances it.Evan have you have ever taken a speech class? I think it has many of the attributes that would be beneficial in therapies education class.
As I have taught art classas it also has all the individual expression elements applied. At least in many of its lessons though of course there is always some elements of common practice/memmorazation in them.
Like some classes are there is no wrong way to…. some have a real problem with that one.
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Diane12
Hi again accidentally hit submit…oops!
Evan said, “The biggest problem with seeing therapy as education I think is the danger of its becoming a set of rules. Who wants to be told the ‘one right way’ to do their relationships? The picture I have of this is something like everyone needing to become chirpy, adolescent shop assistants — able to charm but with no real interest in a person. This is enough to turn my stomach. Evan your so caring! Thanks! That would be awful.I think this has been done well in many workshops around the world. Suggestions are great description for more openness and less rigidty.
Plus you try some of the new techniques if they work you use them. People have time to ask individual concerns too. I think it could be done effectively…
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Evan Hadkins13
Hi Diane,
I am glad there are some good classes where you are.
I do think group, or class, stuff can be done well and be beneficial. Though this is not to devalue the experience of those who’ve experienced pretty awful ones.
I do think there are people running excellent workshops where individual experience is respected and used. I think there are lots of these (though probably still a minority of the workshops and classes available – at least in my experience).
Like you I think one-on-one therapy will always be needed.
Thanks for your excellent comment.
I’m now thinking of a second follow-up post – if therapy is education then what kind of education is it? I’m very grateful to all commenters for such a stimulating discussion. And please keep them coming if you have more to say.
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Diane14
Evan,
Thanks!
I think you should!
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