Comments on: Understanding “Splitting” as a Psychological Term

By: Dr George Simon, PhD

Dr George Simon, PhD — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:36:51 +0000

Vinca asks a great question. The divide and conquer strategy is commonly used in families. It works as a strategy when the primary alliances that should exist don’t. For example, in a nuclear family, the primary alliance is supposed to be between two healthy, responsible, mutually-respecting adults. Children who grow up in such families may try the divide and conquer strategy with their parents, but if their alliance of their parents is strong and their parents’ awareness is high, the strategy probably won’t work and they’ll have to either try something else or modify their behavior. Whenever the divide and conquer strategy is working, it means that a necessary alliance has either broken down, is frail, or has never been there in the first place. Rather than focusing attention on the actors in the divide and conquer scheme, best to give attention to the alliance needing repair.

By: Vinca Minor

Vinca Minor — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:52:00 +0000

Whether one refers to it erroneously as “splitting” or not, I would be interested to hear more on your views of Divide-and-Conquer, and how to deal with it one’s family. Thank you very much!

By: Eleni

Eleni — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:16:38 +0000

What I found to be telling about your article is how the term “splitting” has evolved to people who need to have it their way. My parents used to tell me that all the time. Of course today, the truth of why I was the way I was is out in the open. It wasn’t about getting my way. It was difficult to compromise my ideals of right and wrong. The conflicting messages my parents gave me were confusing. As we grow, we develop productive ways of coping without the need to compromise our core principles. Today, my “splitting” is gone, so I know from personal experience it is possible to live as a complete being. It’s just a matter of having the will to do so.

Great site. Looking forward to reading more.

By: Diane

Diane — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:14:06 +0000

Hi George.

Interesting article! Looking forward to the next series.

On the subject of Borderline Personalities I’d say they just tend to ruin normal day to day functioning. And also ruin those family events and vacations just like clockwork. Everyone who knows them expects the outbursts! I also agree that they can be functioal in unique ways as well. I think things are easier for them to maneuver in and around. Its interpersonal relationships with people that are the difficult task for them.

By: Dr George Simon, PhD

Dr George Simon, PhD — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:09:31 +0000

There are so many misconceptions about the nature of borderline personalities, especially their strengths and weaknesses. And, there’s a tendency to ascribe negative connotations to all individuals who possess what would rightfully be described as a borderline level of personality organization despite the fact that these personalities vary quite greatly both in their ability to function adaptively (in many cases with remarkable creativity) and in the degree to which they exhibit behavior patterns that are problematic for both themselves and others. Some individuals with borderline characteristics are not only quite functional but are some of the most intriguing and talented people you’ll ever encounter. I plan to do some posting on how the whole borderline conceptualization fits into a cohesive understanding of personality and character in some future posts as well as in a soon to be released book.

By: Oprah started me on my path!

Oprah started me on my path! — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 16:07:21 +0000

[...] reading this article, I’m more convinced that most Borderline Personalities are awakened beings that aren’t [...]