Comments on: Neurosis vs. Character Disorder: Genuineness of “Style”

By: pita

pita — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:58:03 +0000

Dr. Simon, can you give a general description of the treatment for character disorder. If possible, use the example of a loving wife and mother of young children trying to function with a husband diagnosed with character disorder? Both sets of parents of this couple are stable and supportive.

By: Evan

Evan — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:16:54 +0000

I guess ‘underneath’ is a problematic metaphor.

I think the complexity is revealed in behaviour – the ‘underneath’ I think is best regarded as an invitation to pay close attention.

By: Diane

Diane — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:23:50 +0000

Hello,

I agree it a great point! And is quite relevant and simple.

By: Dr George Simon, PhD

Dr George Simon, PhD — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:01:17 +0000

Thanks, Gabriella. I really appreciate your comment. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve counseled over the years who became entrapped in abusive and/or manipulative relationships because they so readily bought into commonly held assumptions about the “underlying” causes of their partner’s behavior and tried so hard to identify with it and understand it that they inadvertently enabled it. It’s also edifying to know how many persons’ lives were changed once they realized that traditional notions don’t always apply, became a more accurate judge of character, and were able to see the person they were involved with for who they really were. Only then did they begin trusting their gut more and setting the limits necessary to empower themselves.

By: Gabriella

Gabriella — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:04:27 +0000

Dr. Simon,

You make an excellent point when you observe that, “that traditional notions that assume that a very different kind of reality always lies underneath the faÃ§ade of personality always seem to involve a faÃ§ade that’s not very appealing and a more pitiable but endearing reality underneath.” I, too, have never heard anyone claim, “that a shy, retreating person was really a ravenous predator underneath it all or that a particularly sensitive person really had a heart of stone.” I think you may be quite right that we don’t wish to face the unpleasant and want to make the “unnerving more palatable.”