“What Makes A Good Relationship” Comments, Page 2
You are currently browsing page 2 of comments on the article What Makes A Good Relationship.
You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “What Makes A Good Relationship”.
23 Responses (Including One Discussion Thread) to “What Makes A Good Relationship”
-
Diane11
To All,
Where’s the word love fit in? Since the word and action of it carries with it all life embracing qualities.
I agree congruency needs work…
Empathy is aleays goooood.
Positive Regard does that semantically infer unconditional love?
The older I get the more I see this trend to use a new defination of an age old concept….love, unconditionally love, balance – equalness?
It just have a sense about what is truly timeless and beautiful no matter what age it attends. New words bring of freshness but do they really? But it is fun…. But it is not revolutionary or even evolutionary… like soem things truly are…..Caring well for another 2000 years ago is as beautiful now as it was then. Despite all cultural and historical relevancy of the times. Just a thought… It doesn’t lessen the act of BEING it.
-
Diane12
I am a newbie at computer skills, Sorry!
Can LOVE when its form is truly given/recieved really get OLD?
-
Evan Hadkins13
Thanks Diane.
One of the frustrations of blogging is that it happens via words without all the other signals of face to face. And so words may become more important than in other ways of communicating.
As to love. This is used so generally that people often avoid it, so they don’t have to say things like, “I don’t just mean liking or preference but real heart felt connection with another”. Instead of doing this they just use a new word instead.
So loving connection with others is just as important now as it’s ever been. For sure.
For me positive regard implies less action. To unconditionally love someone sounds like it implies costly action to me. Unconditional positive regard sounds less like this. But that is just me. Sarah, for one, may well have a different view.
I really like your comment. I think it raises important issues. Thanks for leaving it. If you feel I haven’t responded to what you were saying please comment further and I’ll try to respond more adequately – these are important issues I think. Thanks again for commenting.
-
Linda Frania14
Let me briefly ellaborate, by an example, on intimacy and a “good relationship.”
One can have a realationship with another that is purley defined as casual or an acquaintance. In this type of a relationship there may or may not be a trust factor. For example, a worker in one department of an organization interacts daily with another worker, yet there is no ongoing “intimate” relationship. It goes no further than “the office setting” and information shared is “on the surface.” This type of scenario is played out daily in everyday life and in everyday settings.
A “good” relationship however, goes one step further and has the key element of intimacy. The interaction between this pair is of a deeper level, a level that allows more intimate details to be shared.
Therefore, consider that congruency, empathy, and unconditional Positive Regard can exist in a casual relationship, but only intimacy can exist in a “good” one.
-
Kat15
For now I would like to read what you all have to say about these concepts. I will respond when I feel I can put together these things in writing. Right now, I completely understand and comprehend. Yet I am at a loss for words.
-
Evan Hadkins16
Thanks Linda. My understanding is that for you a good relationship is one where intimacy exists. I do see that trust may be required for intimacy. And I do understand that trust is not required for purely functional and superficial relationships. But that trust may be required to move to a deeper level of relating.
Thanks for your clarification and your willingness to contribute to the discussion. I appreciate both.
-
Evan Hadkins17
Hi Kat,
I look forward to hearing what you have to say.
-
Hedi18
Is it possible for a child to isolate the parent that tries to show love, compassion and understanding toward the child (9 yr old )and favor the realtionship of the controller? To the point of also trying to control and disapprove of the more passive parent? I hope this makes sense it is hard to try to convey years of repeated sceniors in a couple of sentenances.
-
Evan Hadkins19
Hi Hedi,
I think I understand your question. I’ve found children can be quite astute at separating parents and their preferences (eg. negotiating with “Mummy/Daddy said I can” to the other parent).
Children, and adults too, can identify with the controller. I think the dynamic, in my observation, has been that they feel the need to be strong to stand up to the controller – and the controller is the only model of strength available. I think this is what you mean. The controlled person is then looked down on for being weak.
I think the response is different for children than for adults. Adults we can talk about treating themselves badly and get them to see the split in themselves. With children it may be more about talking about how they treat others and how they would like to be treated, providing other role models and so forth.
I hope I have understood your question and responded to it (this is just my experience the dynamics of every situation are complex and different and we can’t really generalise or say anything about particular situations).
-
Mary20
I am only 21 years old so my experience, I feel, is limited. In my past relationships I think a few key ingredients are essential for relationships. They are, honesty, no judgment, and trust…with these I have found the best relationships possible that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
« Older Comments Newer Comments »