Comments on: Consensual Living — and the Life Changing Effect of Parenthood

By: Consensual Living — Living in Harmony

Consensual Living — Living in Harmony — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:28:32 +0000

[...] Counselling Resource: It is a big leap of faith, or rather trust, that a mutually agreeable solution is always possible. [...]

By: Sarah Luczaj

Sarah Luczaj — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 13:29:49 +0000

Hi Stephen, don’t worry, all comments welcome!

I think you are probably right about this philosophy preaching to the converted, but it isn’t always so easy to feel you are doing the right thing, even if your kids are obviously happy, when the community around you are all doing it a very different way. I speak from experience ;-) I think sometimes it is really helpful to have things ‘formalised’, and helps you to go further along your path.

It’s also not easy to ‘do different’ from your parents – as I’m sure you know. Every bit of support helps, I think.

By: Stephen

Stephen — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 08:36:26 +0000

I guess my comments here are quite negative. Sorry about that. I speak as a parent of a happy child. The reason he’s happy is because I used my parents as an inspiration. That is I did everything they didn’t do, and didn’t do anything they did. If my parents had had something like ‘Consensual Living’ thrust under their noses they would have snorted indignantly at the mere suggestion that anything they were doing wasn’t perfect.
What strikes me most about this philosophy is that the families that really need this are those tending towards dysfunction and of the type who would not admit that there is anything wrong in the first place.
The families who would be receptive to this philosophy are those who are already practicing something very similar to it anyway.
In other words it’s just regurgitating familiar practices that make happy, integrated families feel better about the good job they know they are doing.

By: Diane

Diane — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 07:07:55 +0000

I’ll say one comment My sons’ favorite saying as they have grown up is are you kidding I was so stupid back then???

OK, One more equally respected always… they are precious gifts and full of light…. with respect always remaining in wisdom of me…. Mom… They amaze me…

By: Sarah Luczaj

Sarah Luczaj — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:01:19 +0000

Hi Evan,

yes, one of the things that I like the most about this consensual model is that the parents’ needs are equal with the child’s. This should be obvious, but it is surprising how easily you can forget your own needs when trying to do your best by your children…

OK, OK, I will write some more ;-)

By: Evan

Evan — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:58:53 +0000

Hi Sarah,

I’d love to see more posts as you explore this style of parenting. I’m not a parent but it certainly sounds like the kind of upbringing I would have wanted.

I think with kids they are usually in touch with their needs but may not have the information to know how to meet them. I do think that consensus means mutual acceptance (ie it includes the parents and isn’t just allowing the children to become the dictators).

Looking forward to hearing lots more.