Self Harm: Hurting Yourself to Help Yourself
The issue of self-harm is gaining a higher profile, in the UK at least, but it still remains to some extent a hidden and misunderstood problem, as evidenced by the stereotype of a teenage girl cutting her arms in a dark bedroom.
The issue of self harm is gaining a higher profile, in the UK at least, but it still remains to some extent a hidden and misunderstood problem.
The stereotype is of a lonely teenage girl cutting her arms in a dark bedroom. Statistics, however, show that in the mid-thirties age group, men are more likely than women to turn up at hospitals suffering from the effects of self harm. That’s according to the website www.harmless.org.uk, which provides a forum, email support and information on self-harm.
Other misleading notions about self harm are that the cutting, burning, bruising etc. represent failed suicide attempts, or manipulative cries for help or attention, or that self harming is an incomprehensible mental illness.
In fact people who self harm are usually suffering from intense emotional distress, and self harming is a way of gaining a precious moment of relief, or of controlling and managing their emotions. They use self harming as a way of coping, a survival strategy.
It may be hard to imagine the level of internal distress that makes cutting yourself seem like a pleasant option, but if it is, this is due to our lack of empathy and not the fact that people who have self harmed are in some way beyond the pale. People who self harm often suffer additionally from shame and isolation.
The good news is that counselling can be instrumental in breaking down the shame and isolation through a supportive relationship, uncovering the causes of the overwhelming emotions and working with people who self harm to find other strategies for coping.
17 Responses (One Discussion Thread) to “Self Harm: Hurting Yourself to Help Yourself”
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Sheila
11One of the clients I use to care for was a borderline and did a lot of cutting, I asked her one time why she cut and she simply stated, “I want the outside to feel like the inside.”
This client did eventually die from an overdose. -
maegan
12i used to know a gurl who cut bad when i got help n sum tips from my counsler((cos i use to cut too)) and i gave them too her i cut 4 3 years & my friend for 2 it took me 6 counslers and 1 group counsling and it helped n i made her stop too she has not been cutting for 1 yr she did it for control neglection andattention
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tiffany sanders
13I cut… but i tried to stop. i dont know how…
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Shyanne
14I cut myself..I’ve tried to stop but I couldn’t do it
I don’t kno how -
15
i bite and CARVE myself..
i don’t like calling it cutting because i make like
shapes and stuff in my skin so no one nos that i do it because
of pain.. so everytime somehthing happens i just trace over the already
carved skin .. and i just started bitting my wrists and hitting my head
and bodyi’ve been really stressing
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16
Tiffany, Shyanne and Gina – it’s a hard thing to stop by yourself. Not impossible but really hard. I know it isn’t always easy to ask for help, or to find the right help, either, but I really would encourage you to find a counselling service near you, or go through a doctor if that is easier. You don’t actually need to tell the Dr what you do, you can always say that you are suffering from anxiety/stress/depression and ask if counselling is available.
There is help out there. I wish you all the very best.
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Shyanne16.1
I wish it was as easy as tht
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