By: Sheila

Sheila — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:03:23 +0000

Sarah
Good topic, “Tragedy as a Motivater”. Lady above has much going on, good luck to you.
I try long time to do what is expected. I got married to man 23 years and have 3 wonderful children, he have many affairs, then ask for divorce so he could marry someone I thought was my friend.
I went to nursing school and tried to work, but all stress makes disability show up and now I not able to work, I not work for over year, I live many places over year sometimes in my car and get chase from places I park by police. I now have place living with Nephews. Have a Lawyer and he helping with disability case, I tried Vocational Rehab and they do a Neuropsych eval, I was denied by them and sent a letter telling me; ” I am closing your file with the office of Vocational Rehabilitation Services because you have been found to be too disabled to function in the current work enviorment. The assessment revealed issues with memory and inbility to multi-task as required in most current work enviorments.”
I have many head injuries over the years and more I try to do what is expected more problems show up. This last year I try hard, but now have more and more communication trouble, and more trouble knowing how to do things I use to do easy, have more headaches all time, but have to wait until have disability to see why they more all time. Have no income, no insurance, disability hearing is set for Feburary 6th so hope goes through this time, with all this I happy for I have warm place to stay now and warm showers to be able to clean every day. I not have this for long time. I also happy I finally got to see my grandson yesterday for first time; he was born in April this year. I not know yet what all wrong, but know is good my son bring his family now so I can have this Christmas time with them.
Yes Tragedy is Motivater, when we at bottom can do noing but climb up again or give up. I not give up. I always know have God, Jesus and Angels with me for stringth, protection and comfort.
Blessings Sheila

By: Shari

Shari — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:01:46 +0000

I’ve been divorced for one year now, from a verbally/emotionally abusive man. Typical profile: nice guy on the outside to the outer world, coward on the inside. Reserves his anger for us “special people in his secret world”,can be a really great guy to us…but wait! Boom! Crazy person!-He’s mostly a hostile, self serving, self righteous, entitled, sniveling baby boy-not really he’s 49! Never apologizes of course, never holds himself accountable,we should get over it-he is, obviously never thinks about what his words are doing to his sons spirit. We have 3 teenage sons, and they are such great kids, but they are suffering because of their sick father. One in particular. He’s 16, and a awesome kid. He’s smart, intelligent, athletic, handsome….you name it. The kind of son anyone could be sooo proud of! Unfortunately, I share a 50/50 placement with him,last week my ex “BLEW A GASKET” on the him…of course, unprovoked out of no where 4 days before Christmas. Said he was a bastard of a son, he’s a loser…he’s not going to go anywhere in life…his friends don’t really like him. He kicked him out of his house forever (of course, 3 days later said he never said that) he only wants “respect” from the son first! Ridiculous.I know enough about this to know that any amount of respect would NEVER be enough. I know it’s HIS stuff, not ours..Anyways, my ex tried to get my son to “take the first hit…come on, hit me so I can SNAP YOUR F’N..NECK”! My son, of course never hit him. What if he had? I really don’t know what could have happened. The ex never apologized to him, acts as if it never happened. I understand most of the underlying dynamics with his behavior disorder, but still the court system doesn’t seem to take verbal/emotional abuse seriously. That is here,in Wi., is it prevalent elsewhere?? The ex will no doubt take me back to court for contempt when the 16 year old refuses to go in back to his house in the next few days,(because he’s hurt and pretty much “hates his father”, and the judge we are assigned to has a large chip on his shoulder due to his own divorce, seems to dislike all women and treats me like dirt. I tried the last time we were in court to get him to hear me. To hear what the ex had said to my 16 year old, and I was the one who got lectured! This has to stop. He can’t be around my children. It will only get worse. What actions can I take? I’m out of money for amy lawyer, but I’ll scrape it up somehow if that’s my only avenue to protect my kids. I’m at my wits end. There doesn’t seem to be any justice or info for people in my situation. Namely, the legal system/verbal/emotional abuse of children by a parent/in a divorce situation. I should add, I DID try from the very beginning of my divorce to get the courts to understand the hell I had been living through, what the kids had experienced..with “his “rages”…but wasn’t heard.The ex was able to convince the judge that the boys were not respectful though. All lies! Besides, how could they feel respectful towards a father like that? Honestly. The ex has become much more vocal on the boys now that his #1 victim is gone. PLEASE help if you can. Anything would be helpful. It’s just all so unfair. I’m exhausted, if nothing else, any resources you could refer me to would be much appreciated.`Thank you very much. Shari

Comments on: Tragedy as a Motivator

By: Sheila

By: Shari