Empathy Against Torture
There are always people worse off and better off than ourselves and as I see it, we are all interconnected and we can only start with ourselves, both for our own good and the good of the world. Of course I genuinely believe this. But once every few months I get a bulletin from the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, and it shakes me from head to toe.
I’m spending a lot of time working with anxiety and awareness at the moment. It is obviously work that is well worth doing, and when I come across clients who feel that they do not have the right to be helped, because there are people who are in worse circumstances, I try my best to convey to them their incomparable, individual worth. There are always people worse off and better off than ourselves and as I see it, we are all interconnected and we can only start with ourselves, both for our own good and the good of the world.
Of course I genuinely believe this. But once every few months I get a bulletin from the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture and it shakes me from head to toe. I feel helpless and that what I do to help people in unimaginably desperate circumstances is laughably small and quite futile given the scale of the problem. This passes as I let the actual survivors’ stories and facts sink in, the incredible sadism and torture perpetrated by people, people like us.
I wonder (although it is a less of a musing and more a feeling of bashing my head up against the question) how human beings can do such things to other people. Is it a lack of moral values? Should religions or humanism or some kind of code be refined somehow or better enforced? Codes and religions seem helpless here when a society’s values break down (by which I do not mean binge drinking and a decline in the quality of television but when people start killing their neighbours as in the Balkans or Rwanda all too recently) or indeed when society’s values change and start to support killing. So what can inoculate us against behaving in this way, whatever the circumstances?
I think the answer is empathy, no more no less. So in our humble ways, when we consciously practice empathy as we do, for example, during counselling, we are doing something vitally important. It’s also important to offer practical support in every way we can to people whose anxieties are rooted in real experiences of terrible brutality that were often officially sanctioned by the societies in which they lived. These people usually go on to be discriminated against in countries such as the UK where they seek safety.
Let’s all do what we can.
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Other articles by Sarah Luczaj
This article was last reviewed by on Wednesday, 16th January 2008.
The URL of this page is:
http://counsellingresource.com/features/2008/01/16/torture-empathy/
17th March 2009
I know this is an old post, but it did strike me that you’re in my territory now. I lost my only child, age 13, by hanging. I do not know if it was his intention to die, or if he was the victim of a stupid “choking game” that has taken the lives of thousands of middle school children. I do know about grief. I know about empathy, and LACK of it. I know about people’s misplaced judgment about this tragedy and I know about PTSD. Empathy is all we have that separates us from monsters who do not value human life. It seems that in any tragedy, or sudden death that can easily be misinterpreted (such as my son’s) there is a rush to blame, someone has to be held accountable. Why is this so? When simple empathy is the only correct response to suffering. Not blame. Not judgement. Not even the suggestion that one can use this “event” to be empowered and make a difference in the world. Well, in due time, perhaps. But first, allow the person to suffer. Allow them to heal, and this takes so much patience and kindness in a society that DEMANDS immediate healing. It is NOT immediate, this process of grief and trauma recovery. It is very, very slow. It is hideously painful. Empathy is the one and only response that works. Empathy is in short supply.
24th March 2009
I’m sorry for your loss.
You might want to think about the fact that you are claiming we should not blame or judge, while referring to some people as “monsters”. That is judgemental language that would prevent you from feeling empathy for someone whose behavior or life situation you don’t immediately understand.
18th March 2009
Greivingmother – I know about loss, but the kind of complicated grief you are going through, with so many factors which others cannot understand and do not want to understand, is hard for me to conceive of – ‘hideously painful” I imagine is only scratching the surface of what you feel. You write so truthfully and eloquently. I am so sorry for what happened to you son, and I do hope you find the support you need, which allows you to go through the suffering and not be rushed, and not feel too isolated along the way.