The “Highs” of Just Plain Bad Therapy
How does it happen that intelligent people stay with abusive therapists or self development leaders or healers for so long, becoming more and more dependent, and giving them more and more money?
How does it happen that intelligent people stay with abusive therapists or self development leaders or healers for so long, becoming more and more dependent, and giving them more and more money? Gena Dry on the “five questions you must ask your therapist” website describes the process as she sees it, including the notion of an “induced high”.
The abusive therapist knows how to create a high, at the very beginning of the relationship, which makes people feel good, although they have not actually made changes in their lives from which a true sense of well being would arise. This could be, Dry writes, through powerful emotion releasing techniques, apparent empathy, or the sheer confidence of the therapist himself.
I would add that self-belief is an immensely attractive thing, especially to those who are seeking help because they lack it. It can become a powerful charisma which will, when exercised in an irresponsible way, certainly play on people’s vulnerabilities. It may sweep people into a dangerous sense of security. It may indeed start to act as a drug, not only to those needing more power in their own lives, but to the “guru figure” themselves.
The high is temporary, because it is not really based on anything except the effect produced by the therapist. Hence a low follows, and a need for more contact. There is a danger that another session or workshop may be needed to fix the depression created by coming down from the effects of the previous one, rather than to deal with what originally sent the client to seek help.
It is also difficult to overestimate how much people are affected by professional status, by the knowledge that the professional has knowledge they do not, and this may lead people to talk themselves out of the evidence of their own senses. If the therapist plays along with this and acts as if they have the answer, the client’s self belief is damaged, and they grow to need the therapist’s “truth” about them, as well as their powerful presence, more and more.
My motivation here is not to scare people out of trying therapy, and of course there may be other perfectly healthy “highs” at the start — caused by finally being heard, getting your story out, being understood and respected and accepted, feeling things shift. The difference is that these highs are quite clearly located in yourself, and not “the person who has done this to you”. Although there may well be a kind of emotional intimacy, a competent therapist is eager to help you strengthen your own perceptions and not theirs, to help you freely choose and facilitate changes in your “real life” which will render their presence in your life unnecessary.
Other articles by Sarah Luczaj
This article was last reviewed by on Monday, 26th November 2007.
The URL of this page is:
http://counsellingresource.com/features/2007/11/26/abusive-therapy/
13th August 2008
Thanks for your insightful column
It’s revealing that so few in the psychotherapy profession have the courage to address how therapy can be damaging. Please. Let’s have much more discussion of this topic.
24th September 2008
Thank you for your observations.
I was sucked into such an unhealthy therapeutic relationship when I was younger. Though I had my own role and projections, the therapist certainly did his part leading me to think he was all powerful.
At this point, I see psychotherapy as a runaway religion in this country. We’re looking to it for too many answers and not examining it critically.
19th February 2009
I have never experienced this, thank goodness. But it’s almost like just another distraction for the patient…like an affair or an addiction. No real progress can be made but the patient just knows they feel better when with this “therapist”. Yikes. Great article!
28th April 2009
Great article. I was a victim in the most horrendous way.
28th April 2009
So sorry to hear of your bad experiences, Susan and Michelle.
As you say, Susan, you ‘had your own projections’ – I think this can be a all part of therapy, it certainly happens more often than not. The skill of the therapist should be in throwing some light on them and helping you to work through them to a more realistic view, not to feed their own ego…
13th October 2009
I too had a less than healthy experience with a pastoral therapist who turned out to be unlicensed and uneducated. He had no degree in counseling at the time, and was using our sessions in the manner described in the article. I was in long term therapy with this man, and in the last 6 months of the therapy, he began to attempt to seduce me into a sexual relationship, though I didn’t allow it. I eventually found the strength to leave the relationship, and also, my life had all but fallen apart in those two years. Once I broke free and began to start the slow healing process, I took action against him, utilizing the services of an attorney. I highly recommend going down that road, especially if you have been deceived and exploited by someone in a professional capacity.