How to Forget Your Own Needs!

avatar image

If we neglect our needs, whether they are for playing sports, or musical instruments, for love, social contact, making things, whatever they may be, the longer we leave them the harder it becomes to break some internal barrier that our organism erects and start fulfilling them again.

I’m still slightly desperately reading up on toddler’s sleeping habits, and in the process I have learned something about sleep deprivation. Although you would think that a sleep deprived person would drop into slumber at the first real opportunity, it is actually the case that the less sleep you get, the harder it can be to get to sleep or to stay asleep. If babies do not nap for long enough during the day it is harder for them to fall asleep at night. They forget how it is to be rested.

It seems to me that the principle works for almost everything. If we neglect our needs, whether they are for playing sports, or musical instruments, for love, social contact, making things, whatever they may be, the longer we leave them the harder it becomes to break some internal barrier that our organism erects and start fulfilling them again. Why the barrier, to protect ourselves from the painful awareness of an unmet need? Whatever it is, it is quite effective.

The problem becomes chronic when we completely lose touch with the needs themselves, so they become abstract, or feel not part of who we are today. “I used to play the piano, before I had children/ I used to dance when I was young…” or we forget about them altogether and live with a constant sense of being slightly unfulfilled, which we can’t quite place.

Forgetting our needs is easier to do than we think. Conscious effort is required once that burning need to do something has faded away from lack of use. So, starting today I want to make a point of keeping in touch, at least, with all the things I need to do to feel both stretched and satisfied. Even if I can’t do them all right now!

Rate this post?

PoorFairGoodVery GoodExcellent (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

About the Author: Sarah Luczaj is a person-centred counsellor, poet and translator from the UK. She has been living in rural Poland since 1997 with her husband and two daughters. She works as a therapist in a women's centre and has a private practice.

This article was last reviewed by Sarah Luczaj on Thursday, 22nd November 2007. You can leave a response below.

The URL of this page is:
http://counsellingresource.com/features/2007/11/22/fulfilment-needs/

There are no comments yet on this article -- would you like to be the first to post a response?

Join the Discussion!

We support Gravatars rated PG or G; if you don't have a Gravatar, we'll display a mathematically created identicon next to your comment.

(A valid email address is required to enable you to personally verify and authorize your comment for posting. It will not be displayed in your post or used in any other way. SPAM comments will be deleted immediately.)


XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting