Emotional Memory Management
Do you ever experience an unwelcome flood of emotions when reminded of a particular person or event? Do you find yourself dragging up the past, and re-hashing old wrongs whenever you try to talk with a certain person? Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist Dr Carver — something of a specialist when it comes to Emotional Memory — offers an explanation of how it works, and a whole host of practical tips that anyone can use.
If you’ve visited our Ask the Psychologist column, you may have noticed that many of the questions we receive involve dealing with unwelcome memories — for example, of trauma, or abuse, of just plain bad relationships, or of other negative experiences of all kinds. Some years ago, our Consulting Clinical Psychologist Dr Carver wrote a paper on managing emotional memories, and his ideas have often proven useful for people posing questions like these.
I’m pleased to say that we’re now providing Dr Carver’s thought-provoking and eminently practical explanations and suggestions about dealing with emotional memory over in our psychological screening section — along with his work on identifying losers, controllers and abusers in relationships, and his well known article on Stockholm Syndrome.
So if you’ve followed Dr Carver’s responses to questions involving emotional memory, you can now read his main work on the topic right here — and even if you haven’t, I think it’s well worth a look. There’s something there for just about everyone.
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This article was last reviewed by on Friday, 3rd August 2007. You can leave a response below.
The URL of this page is:
http://counsellingresource.com/features/2007/08/03/emotional-memory/
5th August 2007
How does this differ from selective memory or selective forgetting?
6th August 2007
Dear Laurie: There are many aspects to memory functioning. In selective memory and forgetting, the key word is “selective”. Memory and forgetting are selective when we purposefully control what memories are being recalled. In depression, folks tend to recall only negative memories and thus recall only negative emotional states, something that keeps them depressed.
Emotional Memory is a description of how our memory operates. Selective memory and forgetting is used for some special reason. People accused of selective memory typically remember only those experiences that support their cause or opinion. They discount or “water down” all memories that might be contrary to their opinion. Keep in mind, they don’t erase or forget those memories, they just consciously don’t recall them.
Memory and forgetting can also be selective due to neurological disorders and head trauma but I don’t think you were asking about this area.
In short, a person who feels they are correct in an opinion will recall all memories that support their opinion (selective memory) and ignore all memories that contradict their opinion (selective forgetting). Abusive partners often emphasize the “good times” in the relationship and forget the times they assaulted, intimidated, threatened, or humiliated their partner for example.
Dr. Carver
6th August 2007
Dr. Carver, Thanks for your very concise article on how the different areas of the brain connect and orchestrate as they comandeer the brain in a crisis. Much of my time is devoted to managing my cognitive deficiencies. The subject matter has been of high priority interest to me, especially during the last 10 years. During this brief period I gave birth, experienced severe post-partum depression, diagnosed as ADD, diagnosed with breast cancer twice, the loss of both parents, seperation, six surgerys for skin cancer, son diagnosed with depression at 11. Let’s just start with this.
No two people could have dealt with these situations in the same manner. I do know that things would have been much easier to deal with, if when in grade school, rather than memorizing useless information, the schools taught Living 101 - dealing with adversity,etc.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t subject for discussion at home either. The real solution is, “psycho-
logical inocculation.” I strongly support what has been documented by LeDoux, Kagen, and Goleman. What a child learns in these classes is that moods, like anxiety, sadnesss,and anger don’t just descend on you without your having any control over. I have written several letters, (including The N.Y. Times) and they were all printed. In my twenties I wrote about reform in Public Schools in other areas - mainly that individual creativity was not encouraged.
The other point I would like to make is regarding the importance of humor. Lucky for me, that was genetically imprinted so I had that tool to get me through those little setbacks.
Humor is a lifesaver for me. If I can’t see the amusement and the silliness of the human condition in everything I do, I lose my perceptive. I sometimes wonder how all those who don’t write, or compose, or laugh can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the fear which is inherent in the human condition.
Laurie Siegel
21st August 2007
Good for you Laurie: I have been a therapist and psyche nurse for 25 years and i totally agree with you. I have gone to my own daughter’s school and provided education to both teachers and students about mental health issues.
I love that you use humour in your life. I work very hard to get my clients to focus on the good in their lives and I highly encourage that people do not “live their diagnosis but live their life.”
It is great to read about someone who has had so many losses still being able to keep their head high-good for you.