More on Relationship Losers, Abusers, Manipulators and Controllers
Dr Carver’s thoughts — and his thoughtful replies — on manipulators and controllers in relationships continue to resonate with our readers. It seems that experience with this type of behaviour (‘loser’ behaviour, for short) is widespread, and consistent themes are being reported by people from all walks of life. This thread continues the discussion.
I’ve actually lost count now of the number of comments left by readers in response to Dr Carver’s article Are You Dating a Loser?, but it numbers in the hundreds. Dr Carver’s straightforward description of manipulative and controlling behaviours — and what you can do about them when you find yourself on the receiving end — really seems to have struck a chord with our readers.
What has struck me the most about the comments which readers have left so far is the degree of consistency and similarity of recurring threads being reported by individuals from all walks of life. And the biggest message here, if you suffer or have suffered at the hands of the sort of manipulative and controlling personality which Dr Carver dubs ‘The Loser’? You are not alone. Far from it! Literally hundreds of comments have been left here at the site, in several different blog posts, as well as in numerous letters to the Ask the Psychologist column, and while everyone’s experience is unique, you might be surprised to read just how often others have experienced the kinds of manipulative and controlling behaviours you may have experienced yourself.
We’ve been splitting off the ongoing discussions about loser behaviours every so often, to keep the individual page loading times manageable. (By the time you get to 60 or 70 or 80 or 100 reader comments, things do slow down a bit when loading the page!). So this is now the latest in the series; if you have any thoughts on Dr Carver’s loser article, please feel free to leave them here in the comments section. Dr Carver stops by every so often and reads and replies to your messages, so fire away!
Oh, and one last thing… Many readers have noticed that the comments form now includes a little box where you can subscribe to be informed when a new comment is posted on that same blog post. This is a great tool for keeping up to date on the latest comments for a particular post. If you’d like to stay abreast of all the latest happenings across the site as a whole — including Dr Carver’s latest articles in Ask the Psychologist, we also now have a CounsellingResource.com newsletter; you can subscribe using the graphical link in the right column of this page, which will open a special subscription window without changing the page you’re on. Or if you prefer just go directly to the main newsletter management page.
UPDATE:As we’ve continued to have such a strong flow of comments on this topic, we’ve now opened a new discussion thread here to try and keep page loading times manageable:
Many thanks!
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