Please note that the free online therapy mentioned in the article was being offered for a limited time specifically by the Mental Health Foundation at the URL indicated. (I.e., we aren’t offering free online therapy via blog comment-and-reply.)

I’ll now close the comments form for this post and add another note in the blog post itself in hopes of avoiding any confusion about the purpose of the post and who was providing the free online therapy.

All the best,
Greg

I’m struggling with a dilemma in my life. Im currently 18 years of age and have a weight problem. After numerous attempts to lose the weight through different methods, my thoughts always seem to be steering away from weight loss. In other words im not placing a big value on losing the weight, but wish for everything to fall into place in my life.

These things include, general happiness, confidence and to become involved in a relationship. Nearly all my life i have struggled with my weight, but after attempts to get serious which i have, things like the media, music, friends, clubbing all contribute to me being unhappy cause i see the “ideal” everyday and become depressed.

Is this normal? im not sure, everyday i have conflicting thoughts about this and cannot see anything working for me.

Regards

Phillip

It sounds like you’ve experienced some tremendous loss over the last few years, including several bereavements. If you were looking for reasons to grieve, I imagine you’d be able to find quite a few.

My own view of these types of automated online delivery systems is that they can do a great job of imparting some of the basic concepts of CBT-type approaches, and I believe that many people then find themselves eager to apply those basic concepts to their own lives, often to good effect. Empirical studies of the effectiveness of systems like MoodGYM (for mild depression, for example) have returned positive results which generally support this view.

But the evidence that some people, in some situations, do find systems like these helpful, doesn’t really answer your other questions, like “what can be accomplished in 4 weeks?” or (I’m extrapolating a bit here) “would this work for me?”.

If I’ve understood correctly, you’d ultimately like to find something that would convince you to feel other than what you actually do feel right now. You mentioned that you’ve been seeing a therapist for three years but still can’t find a reason to keep on going. And, you’ve wondered whether something like the computer-based CBT offering might be able to help you to find a reason.

My own sense, just extrapolating and inferring with wild abandon on the basis of your brief comment, is that there’s a huge amount to your experience besides that quest for a reason, and I wonder is the rest of that experiencing getting sufficient ‘air time’? Or to put it a different way, if you found that reason tomorrow, would everything else take care of itself? If not, what would remain — and would attending to it go any way toward eventually making that reason easier to find?

Not that I would expect you to reply to any of this here in public blog comments; I’m more just offering an initial personal reaction to what you’ve posted in your comment, to do with as you please! :-)

All the best,
Greg

I did my basic training in Mexico City with REBT (Dr. Ellis’ representative) and got my certificate, but only to know how I could help myself. I attented a week of secondary training with Dr. Ellis’ institute in N.Y.

Now I’m way depressed. I’ve lost 3 children in the last 30 years. After that I lost my mother in 2003 for whom I’ve cared for, for more than 40 years. I’m divorced. Then I lost my nephew/son on 2004 and finally I lost my father last year. For whom I really never had much feelings, he was always way deteached from me and the rest of the family. He just never learned how to express love and I really didn’t care much for him. But we made peace months before he died.

I simply cannot find a reason to keep on living. I’m not suicidal or thought about an easy way out. I’ve been in one-on-one therapy for the last three years and still can’t find a REASON to keep on going. Although I know I have to.

Is there hope and a way out in 4 weeks?. Because it seems to me that I’ve simply forgotten all I learned with Dr. Ellis.

Thank you.

Marcia.