174 Responses (2 Discussion Threads) to “The Mystery of Loving an Abuser”

1. 

   Diana

   171

   17th July 2009

   Please help I need good advice.
   I was married to a controlling individual for 20 years before divorcing. My children were damaged by it. The elder is now engaged to a man I believe is a narcistic abuser and is blind to it. She thinks he is the sun and the moon, will follow his religion and politics though it violate all she used to be and that she will be a trophy wife. She thinks he will make her world a safe place. I think he does not like women, I think he tolerates me and speaks negatively about everything on the planet that is different from how he believes is the right way. I think he does not genuinly care about my daughters interests and they are dissolving as he underrates them. I think he sees her as maleable (she is) and a vessel for his children. I can’t say anything without her running it by him for approval and her telling me that I am projecting my “baggage”. What can be done to make her see that he is not who she thinks he is? Since she has been with him, her whole life has been about him and his success. I hate watching this. What can I do?
2. 

   Kathy kau

   172

   18th September 2009

   is this bond hard to break and can it still be there if the victim see the person and still has feeling for the person

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