What to Expect From Your Counselling Experience

What's Our Working Relationship Like?

That is what my counselling relationships are like.

As a client, you will be listened to non-judgementally. You will find that I make every effort to understand things from your point of view. I will be honest with you, and if there is ever any doubt about my own views, or if you ever have a question about the process of counselling, you will be entirely free to ask -- and you can expect an open and honest answer.

You can talk about virtually anything that is important to you, and I will respond to you with the same combination of acceptance, empathy and honesty. I cannot promise in advance that I won't be shocked by something, but I believe it is fairly unlikely you will shock me with your experiences, feelings, thoughts or beliefs. It is altogether possible I might disagree with some particular action or view, but ordinarily this will not infringe on my acceptance of you as a person. (If I do find myself struggling with acceptance, I will share this with you.)

Above all, this is time for you: I have no special agenda, no secret wish to demonstrate anything to you, no need to prove my expertise or experience.

Will You Give Me Advice?

I believe the last thing most people need about most personal issues is advice, and the first thing they need is the opportunity to exercise their own judgement. As I describe in my Practice Philosophy, I believe human beings already have within them tremendous resources for making sense of life. However, the circumstances of real life don't always make it easy to take advantage of these inherent resources. Part of what I offer is an environment which I believe makes it easier for people to develop their own strengths and talents, and their own judgement about what is important to them.

The upshot is that I believe it is generally more helpful to assist people in forming, clarifying, challenging and developing their own advice than to promote my point of view. No one knows better what it is like to be you than you. Having said that, I will engage actively and energetically with you, drawing upon whatever of my experience, thoughts or feelings may be appropriate -- the stereotype of the dumbly nodding therapist distinctly doesn't fit! Part of being a counsellor is continuously tracking one's own internal responses to the client, so I will share these responses openly and honestly when they feel appropriate. Finally, I do not ordinarily refuse direct requests to elaborate on my own perspective, although in practice these requests usually arise only occasionally.

Will You Diagnose Me?

I do not make psychiatric or psychological diagnoses. Although I am familiar with many characteristics common to particular kinds of psychological distress, I regard each client as an individual -- not as an example of generalized anxiety disorder or a case of manic depression. If I become aware that a possible medical or serious psychiatric disorder might merit your attention, I will discuss this with you, including the possibility of direct referral to another professional who would be qualified and willing to make a diagnosis.

Will You Keep Our Discussions Confidential?

With the exception of details I will share confidentially for the purposes of supervision/consultative support, my discussions with you would not normally be shared with anyone else. (For an explanation of supervision, please see the page About Supervision in this site's section About Counselling.) Please see the separate pages on Encryption and the Security of Email Counselling for details on how I protect your information.

In accordance with the ethical guidelines of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, if I believe a client has become an immediate threat to themselves or to others, I may need to share this belief and related information with other people. In virtually all instances, I would discuss this with the client before breaking confidentiality. I am also obliged by UK law to report instances of terrorist activity, and in some rare instances I might be required by legal subpoena or court order to divulge client identity.

I do ask that clients exercise discretion in discussing the content of their counselling sessions with others: the well-intentioned opinions and judgements of other people can sometimes compromise the therapeutic value of the sessions themselves. For example, a strong judgement expressed by a close friend may undermine the very trust in one's own judgement which counselling seeks to promote.