I Can’t Think Quickly Enough to Keep Up in Conversation

Reader’s Question

I’m 23 years old, and I can’t seem to talk to more than one person at a time. I really enjoy meeting people and conversing with them but can’t seem to “get a word into” the discussion because it seems I’m thinking really slowly or something. So, I just become a kind of spectator or something, and my mind goes blank or I get stuck. It doesn’t feel like I’m getting nervous or anything like that. It’s just that my mind can’t keep up and sometimes goes completely blank. Other people seem to think of jokes and fun comments all the time and respond in milliseconds. I never manage to do this (which means I can’t talk to women at all, since they want fun and interesting conversation). It has a very bad effect on my social life, and I have very few friends (no female ones), and I’m starting to feel depressed.

It’s been like this as far as I can remember. Does this sound like a disorder or anything like that to you?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

There is no official diagnosis for what some clinicians prefer to label a “cognitive processing speed” disorder or disability. The fact is, however, that some people simply have a hard time processing information, responding to it, or initiating actions or conversation rapidly. In some individuals this difficulty is more pronounced in certain situations. They might be very “quick” to process some kinds of material and still have a very difficult time in other situations. These kinds of situations are very different from those that arise out of excessive anxiety, although it’s not uncommon for individuals who have processing speed problems to suffer some degree of anxiety as a result.

There are some intervention strategies that can help an individual improve his or her mental processing speed. The interventions are generally crafted to the particular kinds of situations and tasks that are a problem for the slower processor and can include medications to help increase attentional focus, strategies to improve learning speed, and a variety of other techniques. Best to visit with a professional who specializes in helping individuals overcome cognitive disabilities.