HOCD and Unhappy: Will I Ever Be Normal?

Reader’s Question

I am a young male, and I have been diagnosed with HOCD. I have just a few questions:

1. It has gotten extremely bad lately and to the point where I worry my brain might be convinced that I am actually attracted to males. Is that possible? Can an obsession get that bad? If so, what should I do? My brain constantly tries to convince me I am gay even though I know I am not. Should I just agree with the thoughts no matter how disgusting they are?
2. I continuously have racing thoughts, about every nonsensical thing. It has gotten to the point at times where I am unable to fall asleep because the thoughts keep coming. Any advice on short-term relief if I know it is related to depression and my OCD?
3. Overall, what are my chances of returning to normality and never having these thoughts again? Will I ever be able to simply forget all that has happened to me? In other words, how much better can I get? Will I just have fewer symptoms than the ones I mentioned or will I ever get to the point that it never bothers me again when I see men, etc.

Please: I am desperate, this is not me. I want my real life back!

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Although results vary in nature and extent, treatments for obsessions and compulsions have a fairly significant track record of success. This is especially true when a multi-faceted approach is adopted, including medication and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Most important however, are your own expectation of success and your willingness not to ruminate over possible outcomes.

You can keep it simple this way.

Basically, thoughts are of only two varieties: secure and insecure. Insecure thoughts cause us much anxiety and stress. Secure thoughts help us feel empowered and stable. The most important thing to remember is that we always have the power to change our thoughts. So, when thoughts come that are of the insecure variety, we can change them to secure thoughts. Sometimes, especially when we have a condition like OCD, insecure thoughts return. But we can still change them to more secure thoughts.

So, take the secure thought. Take the thought that you can be better and that your life can return to normal. Take the thought that you can be comfortable with your sexuality no matter what and with your sexual thoughts whenever they occur. Take the thought that you can change unwanted thoughts at will any time you wish. Take the secure thought every time an insecure thought intrudes. Give yourself recognition and credit when you do change your thoughts, especially when you have to do so repeatedly. With repeated practice, and the support of your therapy, life can be good again.