Family Member Thinks Others are Watching Her and Trying to Hurt Her

Reader’s Question

I need help for my family member. She has begun thinking that people around her are trying to hurt her. She believes that a certain person that she knew and did not get along with in the past is keeping a watch on her and trying to destroy her life. The situation is starting to get out of hand because she now even fights and argues with neighbors whom she blames for keeping watch on her under someone’s else’s order. She also does not go out of the house anymore. She keeps the whole room dark and does not open windows. She keeps shades on the windows and doesn’t come out of her room for hours.

Whenever I try to explain to her that no one is trying to hurt her, she bursts into anger and argues back saying thing like I should support her, and that I’m a family member and should be on her side but am also against her.

What’s wrong, and what can I do?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Believing things that objectively aren’t true and yet remaining convinced of the false belief is technically termed a delusion. And delusional thinking is a sign of a rather significant mental disorder. Sometimes, disturbed mental processes are strictly confined to delusional thinking (i.e., thought processes are rational, except for specific delusions, and behavior is otherwise “normal”). But delusional thinking can also be sign of a more serious and generally progressive illness.

As a concerned family member, you might do your best to persuade this person to seek appropriate psychiatric help. How you frame your concern, however, will be very important. It’s easy for persons who are afflicted with delusional thinking to misperceive the intentions and motives of those trying to help them. So, do your best not to be confrontational or to finger-point but rather offer hope and support.