Blanking Out When Trying to Commit Something to Memory: Attention, Anxiety and Dissociation

Reader’s Question

I have an issue with learning, memorization, and listening. Sometimes when I am trying to learn something, or listen to someone, my brain seems to go into this “blank state” (not to be confused with “going blank” as in forgetting something for a moment). Most times I can literally feel my mind slip into this blank state, usually with the transition into this state taking seconds, or sometimes minutes. While in this state, I find it nearly impossible to commit to memory anything I try to learn. This also applies to when I am being spoken to.

For example, when I was reading an online article on a subject I was attempting to learn, half way into the article, my brain went into this state. For another example, to explain what I mean by blank state or how I can’t remember something, when I go into this state, I sometimes have to read a sentence many times to even understand the basics of what I just read, and even then, when I go on, I will usually instantly forget that sentence again. This obviously makes it impossible for me to finish an article with any understanding of what I just read. Also, I won’t remember what I read, let alone understand it. Sometimes when I go into this state, it lasts the rest of the day, and sometimes it lasts hours, usually not less than 1 hour.

I mentioned earlier I can literally feel when I go into this blank state. When in this state, I feel like I my head, or to be more exact my actual brain, is ‘floating’. I also mentally feel like what I am learning is literally floating past my brain and not really getting implanted in my memory. That’s why I refer to this problem as having a blank state, because when I try to read, it feels like I am blankly looking at a wall or something, and the letters don’t mean anything since I can’t hold them in memory.

This has hampered my learning through most of my life, but I have always somehow ignored it, or just thought maybe it’s because I am tired or something. Over the last year, I believe I have almost seen a pattern when I go into this state, as if my brain unconsciously is trying to stop me from learning.

To give some details about myself, I am 22 years old and have just recently completed my bachelor’s degree in the field of computer science. Sometimes, I have no idea how in the world I managed to complete my degree because of this hindrance. I believe the only way I have managed to do this, is because I actually learn pretty quickly, so, when I forget something, I can go back and relearn it most of the time. However, in a field like math, this is obviously impossible, since everything is based off of everything else, so I am extremely lacking in this field. I would love it if you could help me, such as give me a label to my symptoms so I may learn how to fix this disorder myself or something. I believe this would greatly improve my learning abilities.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

There are many possible explanations for what you are experiencing. Firstly, it does appear that you have some difficulty maintaining attentional focus, especially when the “stimulus” material is potentially too complex, too confusing, or otherwise overwhelming. Second, you appear to have a tendency to momentarily dissociate, which is an indication of feeling overwhelmed and handling the anxiety by “tuning out” the stimuli evoking the anxiety as well as mentally distancing yourself from the anxiety itself.

Not all attentional deficiencies are of the stereotypical variety common to ADD and ADHD sufferers. What’s more, anxiety, which can also be atypical in the way it manifests itself, can interact with attentional problems in ways that create unique difficulties in committing things to memory.

A counselor who specializes in learning problems and is also well versed in overcoming attentional and anxiety-related complications of learning problems could likely be of great help to you. Individuals who tend to use dissociative strategies to deal with anxiety often have other issues related to the handling of stress that can be ameliorated by working with a counselor or therapist. So, take heart and seek the appropriate help. The likelihood is that you will not only find a remedy for your problem but also derive the additional benefit of improving your overall coping skill.