Recovery from Sexual Assault

Reader’s Question

I have a friend, who I really want to believe, but I am a little unsure. About two years ago, she was sexually assaulted at knife point. She was forced to perform a sexual act. In January of this year, a man whom she had recently dated but was in the process of breaking up with said she performed that same sexual act with him. She states that she did not. She states that she thought about it because he asked her, but she felt sick to her stomach and did not do it. What are the chances that someone will voluntary perform such an act that two years ago she was forced to do?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Actually the chances can be very good if she has fully recovered from the sexual assault trauma. However, recovery typically happens over time and she may still have some difficulty, exactly as she describes, due to Emotional Memory. When we experience a traumatic event of any kind, the brain memorizes the details of the event and the emotions we experienced at the time. Following the event, any time we remember the traumatic incident, both the details and the emotions are remembered, causing us to reexperience the feelings. Any daily event that is similar or triggers that Emotional Memory causes an intense reaction, as she describes feeling physically sick. In short, her description of feeling sick to her stomach is consistent with her history of sexual assault — even after two years. This may be an indication that she has not fully recovered from the experience.

The other aspect of this question is the immaturity of her ex-boyfriend in discussing the intimate details of their relationship with you. His violation of trust, intimacy, and confidentiality tells a lot about him — and very little about her. Actually, if you listen to him, you’ll probably get a clear picture of why your girlfriend ended the relationship. It sounds like she made a good decision.